Witchfairy (without names or places)

5 Whole Years Ago, I stumbled upon a rare and precious find... a "Heart with a Mind" and we had some great times together.. although that is not Actually in real time reality... Coz She is a Gal I met online.. we never met, But in the Soaring emotions of the untamed heart we lived in each others Soul.. rather too deeply.. & without direction... so we improvised each other into Extinction... and final Curtain...


No Exaggeration... it got kinda Fired up in a place that was without oxygen, and we ran out of breath 7 months later.. and She has Haunted me all these 5 Years.. we stopped communicating Xmas 06.. 4.7 years Ago...


In the time of the heart, that is a Trillion eternitys.. I finally got over it/Her last Year.. I was dead inside, for all that time.... last week She wrote to me.. and I could not believe my eyes.. just to see her name, set my Brain aflame.. not with Adolescent over excitable emotions, but like a Mountain Climber who fell and hung by a rope all alone, She came from out of the Sky to SAVE me, and also Hopefully Herself.. Please God...


The Shock.. made me take stock... "What to do for the best?" for Her... I wanted the best... So D sorry if I sounded disinterested and Harsh, in my letter.. NO BLAME HERE except to me..


What a Magnanimous Act of Humanity.. to Quote from a letter I sent Her.. I got cold feet, and didn't want to muck things up.. so silence was the best immediate action... OK coz She wanted to SKYPE, and that freaked me out a bit.. So I went into Denial.. like ass holes do.... and let it roll.. and turned my back to the World.. but I am up to speed Now D.. thanks for forgiving me.. and OK if it is only for one first and; last time.. Lets Bury those hatchets and find the true meaning of reciprocity... (to, give & take)


The Point I wanted to make in those 2mails was... because there is no Romantic obsessional element now... in other words because I DONT love You, Romantically, the Irony is I LIKE you even more... So don't be tremulous and hold back.. I will catch that ball if you fall, that You threw to me last week... Come on Your an American.. people without limit's...  Sassy New York 4:00am Samaritan Java drinking deep thinking super-soul... that I ever met... GO RED-SOCKS... lets unite in Liberty's Crown, and in virtuality, look down on the Whole Town, and Say... this is our moment to truly connect, as loving friends, who no longer pretend..


You once told me, a Phrase I will never forget so help me God... "There are Hundreds of ways to.. love someone... I didnt understand it then.. Jesus Christ... I do Now.... aftw 4+Years in the desert, and bring me cold water to drink from the spring of Mercy... to Forgive takes a Mighty heart indeed, hence these endless sentences I breathe.. Wow, I feel Great... all thanks to You..



if You see I am online, it means I am waiting for You, not anybody else... OK.. so please be assured, I want to do good for You.. right now.. whenever You get around to it... You wont regret it.. I have a one man Show to Give You via live camera SKYPE...


Better get some popcorn, coz its better than a Movie.. that is live without copies, and "for your Eyes only" we are both a couple of overstrung violins.. so please realx, I want to reduce Your Hypertension... soothe You, hold you in My heart and Comfort You..


Really, I never wanted to give anyone else more good than I could do to You... I am totally cool.. and will surprise You with the potency of our Communication... I think You just saved my life... and I want to reciprocate likewise.. x10...


Take it easy; a Friend is waiting, not some monster Boyfriend.. with an attitude or cruelty to inflict... but Patients & Human-kindness (my favourite Word in the lexicon of the Human heart's attributes..)




Take your time.. Peace to You... x
I am here For You.. whenever You want me to ;-)




K?...


DEMI LOVATO.. Your Cousin, says it all in this Song.. Wish I had Written these Words.. just to sing to You...

I Adore Demi Lovato and Her Best Friend Selly..

4ever x

This is a Great Song Too.. Really !!
and says a lot that I wish I had said..

Garage Called..

It's gonna be an expensive week, the part's I had replaced 6 weeks ago, will have to be re-done... for a number of reasons, no blame here.. so I wanted to share a moment of dismantlement, with the collective sympathy that You very few souls give to me, when you HIT me...


every time I get a hit on this blog I nearly wet myself... and dance around like a 5yr old.. so to speak, (favourite phrase of the month) it either means somebody likes not me; but my beautiful children, "words".. if you love words... I can beat the Devil for Prose Poetry & Seduction.. in the exposition of a thought into a cadence and a river of conciousness.. that can wash you clean.. or clean away.. to use the "Machine code" of English.. to touch other sentient Computers.. with the Astounding Expressive Acrobatics of Pop art Shakespeare.. (yeah I am pretty fond of Myself huh? You already knew I was an ass hole, so it's no big surprise, is it?)




coz my favourite thing to do... is Blow people away.. with my love of explaining, & describing... the love of being understood, and to understand, how to feel... and be felt...




RE: Pulley:
Thing is.. it is Achievable not a terminal decline into the dessication of the persona, & death... hey it's only a Pulley system.. not the end of the World... but it is as nothing compared with the Peace Profound in the sanctity of ones healed living mind... 


You could melt Gold, in the heat of my Bullshit.. sorry ;) but is it really Bullshit?.. who gives a Fuck, it's 10th grade excellence if you ask me... and bordering on sublime entertainment...


Lets Write Together and make a (MO-VIE) baby..! or a baby movie, or just film an abortion and call it ART:...


Words are turned into Cities.. from Words are Wars, and a fragile Peace.. but Words are much more deadly than bullets, coz they repeatedly hit their target, over and over again.. they influence and conspire, to change the truth into a lie.. and a lie from Nature itself, (Religion) nothing corrupts or uplifts more than "a few words" 


Sorry gotta go out... God is on the other line... 


(EDIT LATER) 

Still going hard..

Havant slept since last blog, and that was 10:50pm yesterday.. Called A @ 9am, coz he needs sombody to rattle his cage and rouse him, it was pouring with rain all over South UK last night and most of today...He had a Dr's Appointment and as he has no Licence, coz he lost it... x3 times ! for a total of 9 years... I offered to get him there, and after we'd go for a coffee or shop, Drug store was required so we did it all.. he's a tad more perky.. but theres a lotta hell for him to get through till he sees daylight again....


After I went to visit an old friend of My mums in a care home... and took "discounted" flowers to her... they were having "Activity Therapy" so I joined in, and I got a nasty De'javu however you spell it... coz I started to feel like an innmate.. we played Bingo, then memory therapy I guess.. remembering early childhood etc.. and basically interacting, I had to button my lip... coz I wanted passionately to join in.. and interrupt everybody..


I think I am getting prematurely senior... The Saddest thing You hear is that nobody visits them, since their Children took over the House....


Remember Benjamin Button?.. wot a crok of shit that Story is.. you could have told it in 4 sentences... wot a bore... Wot about reality!... Nope its too tragic to be entertaining... it was a Deep expieriance to sit with them today..


It gave me a revelation, so simple you could easily overlook it.. by being awake and "engaged with the present even if it requires looking into the past.. You get happier, and You burn calories.. coz sleep makes you fat.. believe me... I need Lubricating jelly just to get in the front door... My ass is so big I have to Shit in the bath, then shovel it into the toilet... sorry.. (I love disgusting humour)


So after leaving, was already breaking personal records of endurance, and eagerness to be alive & awake... then went to the Garage, coz I got a worry with a new fan belt that only just got fitted.. but worries like that are as nothing compared to the garden of positive conciousness... it is now 4:32pm and I still got some Charge left since getting up last night.. though another 5-7 hrs will see me in the cotton love hole... for all I am worth.. 


I have decided... to; Choose life !!! not the noose of Cowardice and defeat.. and I am so grateful to a certain special entity, who is a receptive spirit and a deeply Unusual and spiritually advanced Woman too.. nothing beats a deep Soul... that can see you in the dark.... even though your so shallow your transparent.. 


Wait a minute You aint heard it all yet... When I got home feeling Tired.. What did I do?... I went out on my Bike, like a health freak... OK I only did 3 Circuits.. but I did SOMETHING NOT NOTHING... 90% improvement from a whole chunk of my personal recent past... why?.. because a Big Soul reached out to make pe@ce..  and in gratitude I will live however short.. a fuller life.. & be content.. to Quote Shakespeare.. as he says it better than I could...






The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings.
But mercy is above this sceptered sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings;

It is an attribute of God himself;

And earthly power doth then show like God's
When mercy seasons justice.



Double Wow holy Cow... no wonder they are sacred in INDIA !

Thankx We will Skype.. just give me a little time ...

Have a Great Day.. and deeply Relax... in fact, "lean on Me"



T42&24T... cha cha

Footsteps up the stairs..

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Sleeping mode is activated..

18,05 hours awake.. the cotton Vagina is calling me to go horizontal.. to get into its labyrinths of softness... i.e. BED or " the PIT"... as I fondly call it.. long story too tired to spray art work, for you..


But I do.. ARt Terrorists R us.. I spray paint on unknown walls.. to touch the observer with selfless sacrifice... such is the nature of the beautiful... to give the beautiful, who have no ART.. just to fake it.. is to make it...


Stencils R always Original even when they are copies....


See my old pal Jim... err I mean BANKSEY, coolest Dude who I never met.... dont be fooled by his copies, it's my copies, that are the originals...


a contradiction in reality's, thats what BANKSEY is to me.. next to Ga Ga, 
they ought to have babies... of Rats with Rabies...




Art is the Observer, not the object... 
All the Beauty is in You..
The receiver makes the object exist..
reality is a Quantum dynamic...




Aug 2017

Impossible Hope

Hope is a kind of self inflicted natural delusion.. its a crazy Mathematical improbability, because the feintest part of hope that hope is possible; is itself a reason to hope... against all hope at all...


If somebody gives you hope.. they give a great gift indeed.. however briefly the transient conjunction of a far distant stellar body comes to foretell of impending doom, at the edge of life; if hope exists it can liberate the damned..


Who are the Damned?.. "People without hope" that's who.. probably like me n You.. Hope is the magical synergy that brings the dead back to life.. even for a heartbeat.. or one last breath.. the moment of bliss in a loving kiss..


You cant take hope apart or to pieces, it only has one part, deep in the heart.. it exists as a warm climate within the ineffable planes of the soul itself.. it is an Air conditioning that soothes from inside.. or the last place you hide from the cruel World of character Genocide.. 


it is Reprieve, and a reason to believe, in something greater than oneself.. who's nurture and balm is a respite from harm... and a paradise of deep calm.. can a Doctor heal you when no medicine will work? no.. but the expectation of a cure alone will reach into your marrowbone... by Skype or phone for just a moment of Hope You are no longer alone...




zx

Onions..

I Love Onions... a self packaged food that lasts for "Months" (unlike promises or Human emotion) not many people make a point of praising Root vegetables, but wanted to share this piece of harmless information, the smell of fried Onions is an invitation to be hungry, I just chopped one up (sorry little pal) to put into the Pasta, Spring onions too, I put 2 of them in as well.. however.. Peer Gynt Makes a mention of onions,

if you ever have a barbecue, the best way to put your guests into the mood, is fry a pound or two, they are so versatile, cold, boiled, baked, fried, whole or sliced, there is a select super-group of veg, that can go into a sandwich, and onion is in the top 3 (think about it, no dont, it's pretty obvious)
anyway since I had some happieness to share I felt this subject was an ideal vehicle to hug the mind of a stranger, as the vast majority of Humanity will probably share a similitude of personal expieriance, therefore we have shared a moment together, in an idle thought of nothing more harmless than an onion...
of course there is Garlic, which I could wax lyrically for quite a while, but since your probably hungry by now I dont want to delay the satisfaction of your desire to feed you hunger, and in so doin I kiss your virtual cheek, and say bon appetite,
let's hope it's not too long till your Sandwich and hunger meet... and as you find joy and satisfaction, that yearning and emptyness greet in each other, like a true lover cancelling out each others emptyness... in a kiss that's endless..
next time you see an Onion remember this...

I am fascinated with the concept of "pure Love" few ever find it; nobody can keep it, yet, it is theoretically attainable, a condemned man can understand it in the look of kindness an innmate or a warder gives, an animal at the slaughter can recieve it, why wait untill the moment your perceptions finally kick in, when life itself reveals its true nature... in the fear of losing it, what is precious to you.. interaction itself with another sentient entity, the conduit through which you can disseminate your pain and frustrations in somthing simple yet universal, to encode the secrets of mathematics in an emotion transferred to all others, (i.e. digtal communication, via the simplest math of binary numbers in infinate permutations, here in these words conveying yearning in a collection of words that a sensitive person will resonate with, yeah a bit abstract, but hey....

how alive do you want to feel today? indifference to the trancendent beauty of the cosmos and the greatest expression of energy and matter when both combine in a living creature... is the act of mind, we are barely concious,

such is my love for the humble Onion, yet how great and complex is the blinding simplicity of love for another human so difficult... The SUN is enormous and has no brain or a single feeling.... but an ONION has a heart and it gives it to you in every bite... that's selfless, are you?
and when in doubt try love not fear... it'll get further than a gallon of gas or a billion dollars... :)
so.. Love Always to those who give a god damn.. and lay down their lives to give you a salad in your backyard..give yourself to the self consuming sacrificial feast of life... and join the Onions in the stew, some of my best friends are Organic matter.. care to join us?