The greatest Punishment...

Is, the Knowledge of your own guilt and wickedness... You never out live that Guilt you cannot Flush down the toilet of lost causes... 

You will never get to heaven/Paradise without a deep Enema of regret a Shit that never ends.... when you wake up hardly able to process the moment... You are the living Dead, Yes Zombies do EXIST...

and You are one of them, funnily enough... You ain't got no life left cept delusional dreams and spiritual Masturbation, that you were Good, and did Good...

Such a LIE... are you willing to be DE THRONED from the crap you believed... the only Truth is...

No Truth is definable by touch reason sex Drugs or conjecture We all face the same WALL of fear, those who have No fear survive the last moment...

Cowards Dissipate like clouds of Dust.... Only a Hero lives again...

Alternative Fatality

folks on DEATH ROW, should get a fair and reasonable Alternative... they get dropped in the amazon Jungle without Shoes or any tools whatever, if they can get out of the Jungle they win a week in a cheap motel then get shot in the back of the head, then get fed to hungry Pigs, hey; they will eat anything...

FILM IT ALL in 8k....

Hey it gives them HOPE witch is the greatest Compulsion in all human history... they will always Comply with positive suggestions... like any hostage clings to freedom...

let the victims do Personal justice to those who took their loved ones, Marshall Law Worldwide (like it is in IRAN) just kill anyone who looks like a threat... where the is no justice there is never redemption either..

Death is so quick and easy with an AK-47 with a full magazine in your hand, after it happens nothing continues to matter... 

it is actually fatalistically Beautiful: 

AT LAST it has happened..

to finally be dead and so Grateful to be such...

farewell all you sinners... welcome to the TOMB/

Send the wicked to the Jungle beyond equal... let them try to buy freedom from a thief...

Losing things...

You can easily lose everything in one thoughtless moment of Ego and Bravado, i.e. overtaking at the wrong time... screaming out loud and losing control... at a wedding or a funeral... or slapping the one you love for the first time... 

(there is no going back after that) to lose trust from just one is to lose all hope faith and good intentions... makes you a fraud)

Last night I nearly lost my mind forever.... I lost my Car keys, and went slightly psycho looking in every crack and pocket I could think of... I was extremely Hung Over... which amplified the emotion x7, started questioning my veritable "so called" sanity... This is something I DONT EVER DO, I took care of Keys my entire life...

Except the key to reason...

that is why it was so upsetting... But then; The Dog needed a Walk which doubled my inner frustration to locate the aforesaid missing keys... so we went out for a walk which I suffered second by second, as he sniff's and does not Piss... He searches and sniffs like a Botanist in search of the only wild orchid left on Earth... yet pisses such a little it needs 8 Leg lifts to empty his bladder....

It was a shorter walk than usual, and my discomfort grew step by step, I feared they were gone for all time... but as I walked up the stairs, my Prayer came to pass...

They had been in the door all night... I nearly lost all reason to live for a silly mistake like that... I was fantasising about hanging myself, imagining being in the Crematorium being burnt yet still conscious... Grim bottomless thoughts...

But I spent 10 minuets on my knees thanking God for finding what I thought must have been gone Forever....

Praise the Lord and King Charles for being such good sports !

Back to the Past...

You ain't got no future... when all your future is GONE... used up and wasted; Except trials tribulation and misery so dwell in the hell of the past... the older you get the further you think back...

The Past is a feast a smorgasbord of snacks... to be encountered by chance, by random association.. the older mind becomes fixated on the earliest memories.. as I go to sleep I explore the past like an inter-dimensional traveller in a bubble of focused thought... I see things I forgot ever happened...

Moments so vivid you would think you were there, I remember faces from 50 60 years ago as clear as a Clairvoyant sees ghosts and spirits... last night I was basically Praying for about 3 hours, horizontal... and visiting the places and faces of the long lost...

the closer you get to Death the more you recount the past; it is a vertical climb with every tiny hand-hold... until you lose faith and fall like a loser..

The past is Dead and immutable, only the present is Alive... the future is yet to manifest... Go back to the Crack and into the Womb go back to a Zygot and before the egg yet to be fertilised, you were there, and now your here... What great good fortune to be one in 6 million chosen to be "activated" as a possibility...

A life is a Collage of multiple images and impulses like some kind of random art... if your not involved with your evolution, i.e. no Ambition no will to do anything no need to meet "other people" you wont be a success by default... You need treatment:

finding out where you went wrong needs re evaluation by jumping from the top board into an empty swimming pool... then the transfixing overwhelming Cognition of your "mistakes and wrong turns" in a download of damnation...

if you can find a slither of hope in all this destruction, you will cope better...

I suggest you try Faith hope an Love as a starting point... then jump into a to cloudy void and hope your Ripcord actually works... 

Death and the past are walking just behind you, waiting for you to become the recent Past personally...

$14 a Gallon in UK

YES you hear me correct, it is actually more.. but $14 is what we pay on average for a gallon of Diesel or even Gas is $12 a gallon...

Come to England and get robbed blind, by street vendors scammers Jammers extortionists and crammers.... they want what you got PICK POCKETS all over London, They will clone your car lock transmission to a stealing receiver and open your, pride and joy from a distance...

Don't come to UK coz it is not OK... we are an increasingly Feral nation populated with a criminally intent subculture of pure latency to ROB RAPE AND leave you bleeding...

not all victims survive, after dark England is an Ant Colony coming to eat the sweet trust of the poor.. we are collectively robbed until money goes TITS UP, 

and pussy cannot pay the bill... what is the next unit of Value?

Blood Sperm and French fry's...

Timeo Americae

love to be Happy...

Wouldn't it be Wonderful to be happy again... that sense of excitement, be unable to sleep as you look so kindly towards the Coming... for the thing you most wanted for a moment

You too... but fate is marching like an Army toward you... the Destructive force at the core of your conscience... stops you from enjoying even a quiet fart.. When you were a Child you did not worry about anything... being happy is a flash Mob but it lasts only for a moment...

but some moments can last forever... 

on Video...

please click here...

Birth Life n Death...

Beginners Please; 5 min:

which Act are you in... a 3 Act Play with much Laughter celebration and Lamentation when you least expect it... there is no Exit nor Prompter to help you when you go Dry.... and wander in confusion with much exasperation and embarrassment...

Life is wonderful until you look Mortality in the face, remembering an old roommate from the 70's Ian Holmes Lewis I just read the backstory of his last years... 

He had a Lung transplant a year before he died... Holy bongo, What he must have gone through... that is no Disney Story.... and this is all some years ago... I was Shocked deeply considering all the implications, that is a Tough Last Act...

Be at Peace old boy...  he was a big Dope smoker, we all were then... but he loved Bongs, and they are Dangerous to sensitive lungs, I cannot imagine all the wrong people he got involved with... His Girlfriend way back then was called AURORA not a name you can ever forget... he never married Her, He got another Lady to do that...

I could fill 20 paragraphs with the names of dead people, who you have never heard of... they died in infamy, the famous Die in Public, but are they always remembered... thats some database...

When does the curtain come down, we are all desperate for a Drink a piss and a smoke.... Hurry up and get on with it... Hurry up and Die it is so boring to wait !!

Bring the curtain down... NOW

lol...