I Got me a Kitten...

Got me a Cat... Saw it on "GUMTREE" local garage sale typa site... there were 3, they had sold 2 so only one little 7 week old Kitten was left, and very lonely no doubt... I wanted to rescue it from sadness, now without a Mother, and in a new home life and living with Me and Bobby...

65 miles I drove to collect... I was worried my old car would tolerate it, I used dear old Sat-Nav on my phone, and it was perfect, we did no deviate one wsted mile, Got there, they were a young couple with a new Child... I had a carry case perfect for the occasion...

We exchanged a few polite verbal reflexes and I got the tot the tiny black baby I came to get... put her in the Carry case with a msh of holes and clear windows... so she was transported in calm and peace...

Bobby Got a bit aroused to grumble and bark a few times, but I gave him the Lowdown, in words and gestures... He Got it... do not attack the little black ball of Fur... and over an hour She crawled closer to Bobby... I would love to see them conspire to unite in one sleepy ball...

I didn't want to do it at all, but My Guardian angels insisted... You need it for the experience and commitment... keeps you fitter younger and happier .... a Life that relies upon you, which is a wake up call every few hours... Where is she what can I do to make Her feel at Home, Better, less lonely... as

She's now lost contact with Her Mother, and both Sisters were taken already... How Would you feel ? poor lost lonely little packet of life... I'll give it my best Shot, I got all the Accoutrement's needed... Litter Box, food, a Harness and leash are in the post, I want to let this tiny thing grow to love and enjoy life, this is a marriage of randomness.. I cam I saw and I collected...

A life to care for and to Love... Lucky me ... we are just about to sleep... all together... thank You God:

Farewell to Toto...

A dog that I knew well 'Toto' She was 16 years old, a wire haired little Doggy, Who I witnessed only months ago Falling over in the Garden, and getting up again, such a pathetic sight, I got a short text from my friend, saying Toto had died in their Arms, after collapsing multiple times on the floor... on Sunday 7th...

Strangely enough on saturday I was looking at pictures of Her on my Monitor, which had been sent over time... and I said to myself... it will be a Sad Day when Toto dies... and She did the next day, But I only found out on Monday afternoon...

It hit me like a Mountain sized Meteorite, I fell apart, and to pieces... and bitterly wept like Mary at the foot of the Cross, OMG and ever since, Death of any loved living thing really gets you in the Solar Plexus like a Iron foundry in your Guts... 

It reminds me When Boo died in front of me Aug 13th 2019, it was a Religious experience like the Sermon on the Mount... 

I was touched by the tears of a Saint... for 7 weeks after I never felt so alone and got scared of the dark every night.. didn't eat for almost a week, How could you... Luckily I got Bubba or Bobby as I now call Him, just before the COVID crisis hit... on Sep 27th or it would have been much more difficult.. and been lonely much longer...

It brought me to my Knees, I went to Guildford Cathedral and lit a candle for Her, and cried like a starving child, where you can barely draw a breath, your diaphram wont co-operate...

That is a Primal reflex from deep inside for many reasons, the guilt that I didn't do enough...

So When I got the text, it was very personal indeed.. something nobody can share with you, you have to bear it alone like giving Birth, Death has the same depth of profundity.. in the other direction...

So Long Little Girl... I will think of you every day, just like Boo...

Rest in Peace Dear Toto... xXx

God Is a Machine... gun...

Hey! my Point is God (the creator of all things) is a MACHINE, not an organic living thing... it is more like A.I. than any flying spirit...

God is a Machine Gun and you are a single Bullet...

Those who hold the power, have the leash on the Dogs of Peace War and Paradise... But they hold no Mercy, have no Compassion, they are the enemy who is almost invisible that walks amongst us... Am I being racist or supremacist? no just realistic, not a Mystic or a crystal Angel I only want to feed my Children... is that a Problem:

And Your Children... 

Who saves the innocent, what single soldier has now power over a Machine GUN... Please save the Boy Warriors from more unnecessary Disasters created by Idiots and Arrogant fools...

STOP IT... Now: 

put the safety catch ON)

can anybody stop a powerful deluded FOOL,

as there are so many...

maybe you are part of them... just one moment of Love combined between us can change not just the future but Reality itself..

Stop bullets start throwing KISSES...

Stop the Mongerals of Mankind, with free Euthanasia, and Sterilisation, Eugenics will be enforced within 70 years, some Peoples must be persuaded to change, Or Die... this is the future of Civilisation:

So mote it be:

What is suffering...

Not so much being in pain, but not getting what you want... the edge of total tolerance... in a meaningless queue... waiting to pay, for something

I certainly wont be disappointed by Death... I have been waiting for such a long time to get through it... I cant Fucking wait (actually) but it is not the end of Torment or misery... you have the ultimate Identity Crisis...

WHO AND WHAT AM I... a giver a taker a faker fornicator a Masturbatur... all of the above and NOTHING AT ALL...

Just a completed circuit with no particular programming... an empty vessel at the bottom of the Sea with no future, unless discovered in the dark slimy depths of dark cold waters that will Annihilate You in an instant... remember OCEAN GATE... What a dickhead and a Loser...

Do not ask too many Questions, not all of them can be answered... The Truth is impossible to comprehend:

but the Pain is without relent...

The Future is Incredible, most of the past has been a mistake... that came too late...

Be Alive awake alert and Aware at all times...

The greatest Punishment...

Is, the Knowledge of your own guilt and wickedness... You never out live that Guilt you cannot Flush down the toilet of lost causes... 

You will never get to heaven/Paradise without a deep Enema of regret a Shit that never ends.... when you wake up hardly able to process the moment... You are the living Dead, Yes Zombies do EXIST...

and You are one of them, funnily enough... You ain't got no life left cept delusional dreams and spiritual Masturbation, that you were Good, and did Good...

Such a LIE... are you willing to be DE THRONED from the crap you believed... the only Truth is...

No Truth is definable by touch reason sex Drugs or conjecture We all face the same WALL of fear, those who have No fear survive the last moment...

Cowards Dissipate like clouds of Dust.... Only a Hero lives again...

Remembering BRUCE LEE with serious respect, 

Alternative Fatality

folks on DEATH ROW, should get a fair and reasonable Alternative... they get dropped in the amazon Jungle without Shoes or any tools whatever, if they can get out of the Jungle they win a week in a cheap motel then get shot in the back of the head, then get fed to hungry Pigs, hey; they will eat anything...

FILM IT ALL in 8k....

Hey it gives them HOPE witch is the greatest Compulsion in all human history... they will always Comply with positive suggestions... like any hostage clings to freedom...

let the victims do Personal justice to those who took their loved ones, Marshall Law Worldwide (like it is in IRAN) just kill anyone who looks like a threat... where the is no justice there is never redemption either..

Death is so quick and easy with an AK-47 with a full magazine in your hand, after it happens nothing continues to matter... 

it is actually fatalistically Beautiful: 

AT LAST it has happened..

to finally be dead and so Grateful to be such...

farewell all you sinners... welcome to the TOMB/

Send the wicked to the Jungle beyond equal... let them try to buy freedom from a thief...

Losing things...

You can easily lose everything in one thoughtless moment of Ego and Bravado, i.e. overtaking at the wrong time... screaming out loud and losing control... at a wedding or a funeral... or slapping the one you love for the first time... 

(there is no going back after that) to lose trust from just one is to lose all hope faith and good intentions... makes you a fraud)

Last night I nearly lost my mind forever.... I lost my Car keys, and went slightly psycho looking in every crack and pocket I could think of... I was extremely Hung Over... which amplified the emotion x7, started questioning my veritable "so called" sanity... This is something I DONT EVER DO, I took care of Keys my entire life...

Except the key to reason...

that is why it was so upsetting... But then; The Dog needed a Walk which doubled my inner frustration to locate the aforesaid missing keys... so we went out for a walk which I suffered second by second, as he sniff's and does not Piss... He searches and sniffs like a Botanist in search of the only wild orchid left on Earth... yet pisses such a little it needs 8 Leg lifts to empty his bladder....

It was a shorter walk than usual, and my discomfort grew step by step, I feared they were gone for all time... but as I walked up the stairs, my Prayer came to pass...

They had been in the door all night... I nearly lost all reason to live for a silly mistake like that... I was fantasising about hanging myself, imagining being in the Crematorium being burnt yet still conscious... Grim bottomless thoughts...

But I spent 10 minuets on my knees thanking God for finding what I thought must have been gone Forever....

Praise the Lord and King Charles for being such good sports !