Tonight I am going to watch or perhaps binge the Squid show on NETFLIX that everybody has been talking about, I put it off for weeks, but decided Now I am gonna dive into the deep blue waters and get torn to pieces in sheer thrills and outstanding (so I am told) entertainment... I need a heart/soul lift; already had 2 facelifts... lol...
only what gives you true joy lifts a sad heart, I had a bad few days where it is permanently night inside your mind... I was robbed by a Scam over 5 years that cost me 27.5k, by direct debit, now they say it is an "irretrievable debt" it could take years to get any kind of cheap payoff, but I could be dead by then I was hoping to cash out this Christmas, and by an Electric form of transport... ELV...
that is dashed, but what the hell its only Money, i.e. Money is Hell; not a beating heart in the chest of the one you love... I got some left but it demoralized me, if I didn't have Bubba, I was tempted to cut the power so to speak...
However, I got a new batch of Narcotics from an Ex-Person... I also get robbed by him but I pay anyway, where else am I gonna get it!, my other dealer is so stoned he forgets to keep an appointment even after 4 days, so I go elsewhere, as above... what the fuck do I care... gonna get that Squid thing on now... and Gouch my way through another dark night of the soul... the worst nightmares start, "when you Wake up"...
may you be delivered from wicked cruel people? remember GOD PAYS DEBTS without money... (my NANA used to always say) I curse all who have crossed me in a midnight prayer every night, may God strike dead the CCP and the anti-christ who runs it...
you can tell I had a fix cant you?
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