Just a Painful Day

Lancey was all wound up didn't sleep so well, as I had my annual MOT (which is a yearly Thorough test of the viability and health of one's Car, well I wasn't totally confident, and it is my means of transport and so important to me, Well I got there spot on time, and waited like an expectant Father of a second rate Abortion from a spastic Wife without limbs Eyes or ears... just a Bleeding cunt on a pillow...

I consulted My Golden Oracle at 3am, "will it pass" was my Q? it answered "Dont be confident" was the A: well I went through the morning in preparation like that of a condemned Man awaiting a terrible Execution... Starting by shaving My Neck for the Hangman, and washing my face with a Glass and sandpaper Flannel/towel also used for Toilet paper which can make your Ass bleed

like after a Nasty Rape with a Gargantuan Niggers cock, Forcibly Thrust into your Rectum "against Your will" if I had eaten anything the day before I would have shat myself, but all I could manage was Thick Clear "Snot-like Strands with the odd Pea suspended in Alien slime... that has been hiding up my ass along with a lone Sweetcorn embracing the remnants of a Red Pepper, should have kept it for the TURNER prize, coz mostly only fucking Shit wins it, ha sob...

its so hard to do Selfies when you're wiping your anus without a tripod, and your middle finger slips up yo hole... "Hello" you break the Tissue and get into the final Act of your old Alimentary Canal... like Hamlet backwards with a touch of Hitchcock, "Fuck me is my Asshole that soft" I should do this more often, lol... if only my Dick still had a Purpose alas

My timing was to the Heartbeat and beyond the second, I feared 45 mins in one moment of Dread... as I approached the Garage I began to know why Mary Antionette SHIT HER fancy Pants, I was in fear of my Luxurious Freedom, which is my Baby Merc, it beats ANY WHEELCHAIR, being denied me, Heaven forefend I was born to Drive...

9 sadistic pornographic Paragraphs omitted: (get to the fucking point) so I gave over my Keys like when you go to Jail they take this beloved intimate item from you, immediately making you feel "Earthbound without a means of Escape" but they did have a Great Free Coffee Machine, at least there was another Customer sitting waiting, so I got perseveringly verbose and importunate to this poor old Guy, I found out everything about Him, He looked at Boo and we shared personal Griefs by light conversation and polite sentences, 

Then Momento Morum the Delivery of Damnation from the great Demon of sedimentary institutions comes to strip you of your uniform and condemn you to Isolation without transportation, The car Was Perfect not a physical problem at all-! coz it failed on...

EMISSIONS fuck me in the face with a hammer, please... I was not entirely unexpecting monumental Nullifying Crushed Hopes and Dreams of Picnics in the deep Forests of my locale, with a Personal assistant who has Mongalism to help me out with some heavy Petting, hey SHUDDUP Mongols make great Pets, they have easily accessible Genitals are ready to eat and sterilised! the perfect blind date ha ha... and they dont mind if you spend their Money... and wear their underwear Oh La Ma, I always wanted to fuck My Mother, and did a lot of Wanking in the Womb

Then when I got Born I looked back at that fucking cunt and said forget it I lost my appetite for Lust all I want are your TITS now Mumma... all that masturbation makes a Foetus hungry... 

Seriously I Dream of Doing Stand-up in America, b4Idie ha ha.. AS-IF

no but Seriously, Seriously... I need a new Chiroimperiac, uh hang on, I got it... I need a new

Catalytic converter, no big deal, I never heard of failing that EVER  before now, I cannot frankly get it down my brain it keeps coming back up... like bitter Vomit creeping up your throat, It turns out they are surprisingly cheap! so with a sprinkle of a virgins tinkle, if you would only piss on me with your sweet golden wee, I will be as happy as a fool can be, Hic...

Then the holy Vox of Truth says to me like a tiny bell, "dont Worry Bunny)" somehow I will struggle to get through it and live to write a few more Wacky Blogs, written in Smegma on a screen of bacteria, writing in germs, "mind germs" that infect and heal from a distance

Something Wonderful is about to happen... that is what I always tell myself when at the Lowest, these things are trifles compared to the beauty I carry always in hope with a tad of faith within me,

Tomorrow will come and by God, it will be a good Productive day, if only in theory... mind you Money is the best friend you have at a time like this... thank the Big guy yet again I will never be homeless or hungry, How great is a Certainty? as Certain as Death itself:

Where the Illusion of Fear is finally lost, there never was anything to be afraid of except perhaps Rejection and Loneliness, if you got both you probably deserve it