Good Wishes

RE-POST of 2006 early Blog: to keep you entertained with my caustic invective and Autistic perspectives on life. as I feel and see it: (at that time)


I Wish I was in love again...

when you hit 50, yup that's me, you just live to sleep dream and remember memories.. I play them over, all the best bits, like supreme Cinematographic Collages of crossfades and lost days; in a beautiful Montage... the sweetest moments, are seen through the depth of love's narrow field of focus, like morning dew on a Lotus.

Like forgetting the world is a Disney Movie, and totally illusionary.. just when I thought I'd started to be truly gifted and creatively free, I will this year be 53... (10 years ago at time of re-posting in case you get confused or are of very limited intelligence:)

and life feels more precious and clearly divisible heartfelt and transmutable, than ever before:

and yes, I wish I knew then what I barely know now, what its like to kiss a girl first thing in the morning, without lust in your heart, just love itself; 

and I wish I was in Love Again... the search for Joy propels my Brain, I wish I was in Love again, I remember the overwhelming feeling of reeling, at Just the touch of her hand, I don't know if you can follow this or grasp it

but Soloman or the King of Kings, cannot create this wonderful thing, of which I sing..

Love is 'the impossible' attraction of paradoxical polar opposites, people who shouldn't even fit... yet click to Checkout very quickly, the majority of People GO FOR IT without a rational thought ever crossing their confused seduced simple mind... just like a meat Market Selling Human "instant happiness" on eBay, snap decisions cost most people their lives Careers and Marriages, or free with a long time in Jail, ''the Failure Hotel''

but an unquantifiable succession of events, and a compulsion that never relents... makes "Suckers of us all"

to feel that someone actually believes in you, knows your heart is battered but True: yet keep on coming back to you.
Come hell or high water sticks with you, and continues to, even when years have gone by you still miss them like new, and they are forever.. an integral part of you... but you are blind to their ulterior motives... Creepy innit?

yeah but; I wish I was in Love again, to someone who speaks my name, over and over again.. I am just dreaming back to a time when I had such a friend, who is well long gone..

yet persists still, like Poe's Raven on the windowsill, and above the door... what did it say?

Nevermore...

but when you're old you can dream and in fine detail remember such things, a personal Hero who wins your trust and liberates your hope,

they give their life for you... watch your back and scratch it too, someone sweet who loves you... not for gain or any particular reason, who won't turn on you in and out of season.

a gift from Chaos and things unseen a dream within a dream. a Prayer Answered or a curse in disguise, who can really tell the truth from Lies...

a moment of Harmony in a life of pain remembered again, and I wish I was in Love; just one more time "again"





Feb 23rd 2006 11:04pm

(2017, I was full of it then, lol, What a lot of sickly over sweet non nourishing Oatmeal with no meat, Romantics need Plenty of Meat in a Sauce of Sweat Spit Menstrual Blood and spunk... )