Drone Alone

For Christmas, I got some pretty Geeky Presents, From myself of course, who else could buy me just what I wanted?... or afford it... like a 3 axis electric handheld Gymbal to hold your Go-Pro or smartphone totally steady as you walk move scratch you ass or drink a can of Coke.. playback looks so "dreamy" like one was a spirit just floating through the air, now there is a moot point...

I love aerial photography and having seen so many Drone flights over Great cities of the World, On You-Tube there are thousands, and many in 4k which are mind-blowing on a big AMOLED screen, Or VR headset which I also got, as a stocking filler...

so I treated myself to x2 Drones, one to learn how to fly, and the other to get seriously into "flying without wings" and these little things can cost more than a secondhand BMW !!! i.e. up to and way beyond 2k for a serious professional kit, with a Video range of "WAIT FOR IT" 7 Fucking Kilometres, now that is quite a long way, mind you "line of sight" is predominantly important, signals don't go through lots of concrete !!!

I am saving the Big one for when I can faultlessly operate it like a pro, or I could lose it in one fatal amateur error, and might as well have put nearly 1k on ZERO in a Casino, Duh... about the same chances of success.

So Yesterday was my first flight... Boo n Me went to a Big Park with nice comfy Benches and a few Acres of Cut Grass now very muddy after 3 days of continuous rain, with instruction book in hand and the Correct APP on my smartphone Which clips into the controller, then you seek the Wi-Fi network from the Drone, and pair it, then you get a 720p Video feed to the Screen, next time I will use my 10.1 Galaxy Tab Pro (Octacore Processors 2k display = Apple Retina) I love My tech and gadjets but lets not go into that right here and now... as its more than an obsession or a fetish)

However, before that You must Pair the Controller with the Drone, by doing a sort of pre-flight Check, its very complicated to a fool which I must declare I am with a touch of Autism, bordering on an Imbecile cum savant, whose greatest Achievement is to Dribble like "Hawkins"

So after the pre-flight Check, I was ready to press the "take off" button, but I wasn't really ready if you know what I mean?... 

I was totally Soba though I had just done a Bong in the Car, on arriving, Of course, I let Boo out first!... So She can sniff snort rummage and plummet the smells of Nature as is her favourite pastime, She's a born Botanist, and has a communication Vocabulary of at least 72 Words she understands like a smart child... Her behaviour is that of an incarnate Angel Alighting upon my life like a Beacon of Love... She is all the Beauty I lack and more Love than I could ever return...

Sorry, I get emotional a Lot!, it proves that I was alive! (at time of Writing) and a bit of a latter-day Fop, a useless insignificant dick with too much time on their hands, and seeking fulfilment via electronic means that amount to a total waste of life and time... an interloping overweening importunate Dillitante.. That's me...

I don't know Fuck All and yet appear to; I am as common as Farm Slurry twice as smelly, yet can fool you into thinking I might have a secret intelligence, that I hid away out of embarrassment until the SACRED INTERNET came along and gave limp wrists a reason to type...

OK back to the Era of my Ariel Virginity...

So I pressed "Take off" and it went up like a fukin rocket!! I started to PANIC which is wot Idiots do Quite often at times like this, it must have gone vertically up for 200ft? and the panic made my fingers do a Spastic little dance on all the controls, not realising what in fact I was trying to Do a sort of Blank Impass of Mind-Body Co-ordination took over I looked down and could only see the EMERGENCY STOP button, so as it nearly drifted away about 140ft at 10 o'clock to me, I pressed it 

and the Rotors just stopped....... and it Fell about 80ft onto soggy muddy Grass, the panic wasn't over yet, I suddenly felt Nausea, "O fuk me" I murmured.. "I am fuckin Idiot" hey who would ever have guessed?... I say things I didn't mean, and Do things I didnt say; or want to do... but did them anyway..

So I walked up to the Drone and thought "well I guess that's curtains" but wait a minute, the lights are still on, but I was still too mentally confused n fuked up to think clearly, so I tried the Pre-flight checklist, and nothing happened, Turned off and reset all 3 data connections, still nothing happened.

by this time in the frezzing cold wind, I didnt care, I just wanted to get back in the Car run the engine and Warm up a bit, Have a nice little Jinty (my speak for Joint), and breeze home down those cool country lanes, I love so much, Stopping by the Horses in a field, I like to touch them, they come to the car as you pass, and if you stop the white one puts his nose into the Car, sometimes, When He does its AWESOME, makes me feel like a little Girl, They are quite tasty with a good Salad... and fresh bread dipped in Virgin Olive Oil.

Did I Digress, Bless me so I did. 
Today was the Baptism of Faith, in the desert of Despair, the emptiness you cannot imagine in a heart almost dry of Blood hope and salvation... Shh, I hear your question. give me time to unwrap the nucleus.

So; Today We went to another Massive outdoor Aera and we started from scratch, fresh battery, fresh yet sanguine acceptance of failure, Aquiessence to my little lot, Genuflecting to blind faith in a state of hopelessness...

Power on, Main Drone: Power on smartphone, wi-fi link Connection made, video streaming, now Remote control system power on; Pre-flight UP-DOWN on Height Stick, then Yaw Pitch Stick, Beeps from drone in correct sequence, clear for Takeoff, it lifted from the ground and sat there at about 5ft, so to avoid yesterdays height anomaly I was Ready, was I really Ready? I don't think so...

I pushed the direction stick and it glided away at about 30mph, then I couldn't see it after about 700ft, I COULD NOT SEE IT, I was forsaken for the love of God, YES I pressed that ol button again, EM STOP, but by the time I looked down to see the right button, it was GONE! No-Problem, the grass is only 2' high and it was flat for miles except for a few trees, I couldn't lose it don't be stupid...

I fucking Lost it, I was Cursing Christ and spitting like a lunatic in the wind... walking around in right angles trying to deduce where it may have drifted to... I must have appeared quite unhinged, constantly walking over this massive Flat pitch approx 12 acres in total, I was busting a Gut, and on the verge of a Myocardial infarction, I Prayed to God After 25 mins, and said please, don't let me walk away from here without finding it, it's got a 32gb mini SD card worth a few quid but more useful than just Money... People looked at me like I was Demented,

Probably because I was, I kept looking over the same 2 Acres!! ahead and right of me which was my last sighting. that's 25 mins already, just about ready to abandon it altogether, as I was desperate for a Joint and Cold Beer to calm my Avatar, maybe I am the Drone and the Drone is me, I then asked for help from my infrequent "little friends" please help me find it "you little guys" after another frustrating grid pass of 2 fucking Acres I was 9 parts Fucked out of 10, and Ready to Crucify Jesus Christ on the Cross!!!...

then a tiny tinkle of little talking winkle said go Further, FURTHER! u taking the fucking piss, I've fuckin had it, I am a Banana, so far off about 2000ft before a tree, I thought I saw it, but there are patches of grass that grow in clutches, and closely resemble a landed drone of 4' in height amongst a land covered in 2' grass, I am only 5ft 7' I NEED PERSPECTIVE but that's why I went there, coz it would be easy to keep it safe...

So Yeah, after 45 mins like a chimpanzee on opium, I could barely believe my luck, When I did find it, it was at least 900ft from where I had totally believed it to have landed!! I must have walked 2miles or more crisscrossing the landscape and returning over again, OMG 

Only 2 flights lasting only seconds but what fun I have had, (fun does not always start out pleasant but it's pursuit lasts longer than chewing gum) I feel like a Man Risen from the dead, 

(I still have the life I thought I had lost) that was a Religious experience.. make no mistake, when you thought you had lost your soul, you get a second and a third chance, if you seek you may well find... don't give up, for once be a Man.

Searching for lost "Stuff" makes you a true hunter of the truth as well... its right there where you did not expect it to be but you gave it your all and found it. AMEN x get transformed be re-born

It's Fucking Transcendental Man... get a Drone save your life from normality, take a risk, fly like a sparrow...
have all the emotional Highs and Lows of the Bible.. in a 17-second test flight...

I DARE YOU TO, OWN A DRONE!