Self mutilation by emotion..

I Wish I was in love; again... well; in an existential way; I; was;/am;/are;..

when you hit 62, yup thats me, you just live to sleep dream and remember memories.. I play them over, all the best bits, like a supreme Cinematografic Collage, a beautiful Montage... the sweetest moments, are seen through the depth of love's.. field of focus, like morning dew on a Lotus.. just before fulfilling cotius...

Like forgetting the world is a Disney Movie, and totally illusory.. just when I thought I'd started to be truly gifted and creatively free, I will this year be 63...

and life feels more precious and clearly divisible heart felt and transmutable, and yes, I wish I knew then; what I barely know now; 

what its like kiss a girl first thing in the morning, without lust in your heart, just love itself; Oh Girl.. 

I wish I was in Love Again... maybe I am, but not that kinda way.. you will understand; when you get "here"... where you try to find beauty in every/any thing.. to derive the best from what you still have, to consolidate; before it's too late, even for goodbye's..

wish I was in Love again, I remember the overwhelming feeling of reeling, Just at the touch of her hand, I dont know if you can follow this or understand.. but I never felt more qualified to love back.. instead of take so much it makes you sick.. like a Child with a bucket of Ice Cream (Toffie yogurt with bits... tongue encountered bliss...

but Solomon or the King of Kings, cannot create this wonderful thing, of which I sing.. Love is the impossible attraction of polar opposites, people who shouldn't even fit.. but do/can/could; an unquantifiable succession of events, a compulsion that never relents.. to feel that someone actually believes in you, knows your heart is battered, but True: and takes a chance to befriend You...

and come hell or high water sticks with you, and continues to, even when years have gone you still miss them like new, and they are forever.. a part of you..

Jesus; I wish I was in Love again, to someone who speaks my name, over and over again.. but I am just dreaming back to then when I had such a friend, whose well long gone.. yet persists still, like Poe's Raven on the windowsill, and above the door, what did it say?

Nevermore...

but when you're old you can dream and in fine detail remember such things, a personal Hero who wins your trust and liberates your hope,

to give their life for a friend.... someone on whom you can utterly Depend who watches your back, and scratches it too, someone sweet who loves you... not for gain or any particular reason, who wont turn on you; in and out of season.. (fairweather friends)

a gift from Chaos; and things unseen; a dream; within; a dream.. a perfect theme.. Beethoven's 7th Symphony.. 2nd Movement..
a moment of Harmony in a life of pain; remembered again; and I so wish; I was in Love.. one more time... encore; une: fois...

I will take the blame... 

but please, 

one more time; 

Again..

(the more you give love; the better you live;
the more You hate; the sooner Your sad; Fate..
dont find that out like me...
almost Too late!:

Peace Blessings Healing; to any who's heart's eyes reads my prayer.. 
it becomes.. a prayer for You.. 
that was for You anyway..

forever tomorrow; but most of all..

TODAY!..

Indoctrinated Dumb Bombs

There is no more effective weapon in the History of Warfare, than a soldier prepared to die willingly; happily even.. in the furtherment of a cause/reason.. a human Being is the most advanced selective semi/intelligent payload Delivery mechanism ever in the arsenal of infiltration by assimilation..

Consider and remember (cold War) sleepers.. generational infiltration by just "breeding" oops; that sounds a bit like the smooth end of totalitarianism's penus entering an unwilling rape victim..

remember the Trojan (Horse) was actually a Mare.. (a Female always carries more guile; and more room with a Womb?)

It's amazing... until they can read your mind and Soul in an Airport "Scanner" there is no possible way to detect "evil intent" forget Crude Cruise Missiles, Bodies are Miles better.. 

just 8 Men made Paris quake.. 8 'Automatons' (which is exactly what they can be assuredly defined as/by) but hold on; there are hundred's more... still Zzz sleeping... 

waiting for a TXT from HQ-Holy Qatar ''where the endless Hatred emanates from'' with that old favorite Hypnotic "phrase" (Allahu Akbar) from a fixer/handler/Wrangler's smartphone.. and like servos actuators, on a remote controlled toy, they will awaken and destroy.. Awaken and Deploy..

an Indoctrinated de-humanised Human = "the smartest Dumb Bomb there ever was..'' this is a War between the Ignorant and spiritually backward v the civilised and intelligent.. Science fact v dogma.. yet they use OUR Science to kill; which contradicts all their otherwise supposedly "peaceful teachings of a Most merciful arbiter of intransigent Sharia Justice.. 

it's a summer camp for Psychopaths.. justified in their blood lust by the Controlling ramblings of an illiterate rapist and Murderer who dictated the Koran as; He was illiterate.. named "Mad Mo" otherwise known as Mohammed.. 

they are no more than highly intelligent TRAINED ANIMALS = automatons!) and mindlessly they will do their distant bidding.. how do you crack/hack the network? end the Madrassas?.. which is a major part of the very start of the whole Rot that amounts to this pile of trash...

It's Time for the REAL Big Brother, No; More; we dont just need CCTV we need "Remote controlled gun Pods at strategic places around modern towns.. like the "Apache Gun Pod with exploding rounds" also with FLAIR vision, this way we could get immediately to a Car cruising with armed men doing drive by shootings..''

Fuck I give up.. and am as frustrated and filled with Hot Blood and the anger of terminal revenge.. as most of the civilised free World... trouble is; our civilisation has become numb with comfort and luxury, weak; too tolerant and vulnerable, they kill us with the very kindness we gave them.. in Freedom.. nothing is more painful than ingratitude.. when a once starving refugee stabs you in the heart, to steal your life and our future..

The only way we can evolve and proliferate a better form of human, is to control Conception by LAW: Eugenics may sound a bit nasty.. but be Honest.. where can you hope to make a Better future humanity, except by evaluation legislation, and genetic unification towards a more Egalitarian universal and truly Humanitarian World society..

where the only Evils.. are imagined... and always Aborted!...

I have several Paragraphs in Paste ready to put here.. but a Need to omit objectionable content has been observed; as Mercy is as powerful as a Gun when inverted/converted into Love: who can pull a trigger when Love fills your heart? Who need a Gun when You "love your enemy".. how do you love an enemy that knows not; of Love?..

where is tomorrow, without it?..