(there is no going back after that) to lose trust from just one is to lose all hope faith and good intentions... makes you a fraud)
Last night I nearly lost my mind forever.... I lost my Car keys, and went slightly psycho looking in every crack and pocket I could think of... I was extremely Hung Over... which amplified the emotion x7, started questioning my veritable "so called" sanity... This is something I DONT EVER DO, I took care of Keys my entire life...
Except the key to reason...
that is why it was so upsetting... But then; The Dog needed a Walk which doubled my inner frustration to locate the aforesaid missing keys... so we went out for a walk which I suffered second by second, as he sniff's and does not Piss... He searches and sniffs like a Botanist in search of the only wild orchid left on Earth... yet pisses such a little it needs 8 Leg lifts to empty his bladder....
It was a shorter walk than usual, and my discomfort grew step by step, I feared they were gone for all time... but as I walked up the stairs, my Prayer came to pass...
They had been in the door all night... I nearly lost all reason to live for a silly mistake like that... I was fantasising about hanging myself, imagining being in the Crematorium being burnt yet still conscious... Grim bottomless thoughts...
But I spent 10 minuets on my knees thanking God for finding what I thought must have been gone Forever....
Praise the Lord and King Charles for being such good sports !
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