Witnessing Her slow prolonged gasping and deceasing wrecked my entire world of normality and gems of love n hope, from Her... dont know how I ever got through that day... I should a hung myself...
She loved me like no other living thing ever did, I do not know to this day why I have survived and stayed alive... I cant wait to be with Her... of course that is delusion... it's too late and beyond goodbyes... I am the living dead, I may look alive but I am secretly dead as a slaughterhouse... with gutters running in Blood... Death is HORRIBLE and very Scary...
all my Whole life I was waiting for Her to come to me, and She was delivered to me... but I was to blame for passing at just 9... I thought I loved her but I didn't care enough to save her... all my life I waited, now she is gone, and there are no more, no copies... No substitutes no Equals... after 6 weeks I was desperate for another Dog...
So I got involved with R.S.P.C.A. at "Mount Noddy" near Chichester... And spotted a sweet looking Mutt... I went to the site but all the dogs were reserved...
but eventually someone cancelled their reservation, and the only Dog that was left was the Mental Case I have now... But he is my Babe, call that Fate or punishment... I accept my fate and am ready to die for the wrong I did...
Life is Empty and Meaningless without the fated Love of your Life... a Broken Heart is a Crevasse in a world of hollow footholds...
Don't step without aforethought... if you dont get to be here in the "very Moment" you will be lost in a future of Sorrow...
Remembering BOO... my greatest ever Love n grief... a World of never-ending grinding Misery... Death is not enough to take this pain away... No overdose is big enough... a Broken Heart is Immutable... too many fractures to ever heal without tremendous pain... Living on is a real Drag with the memory of such love devotion and suffering...
run out of words...
x
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