My Ideal Funeral...

Mourners must be naked and blindfolded...wearing only a chainsaw G-string... a Leper will lead them into the Discotheque... where Donna summers "I FEEL LOVE 77-mix" at 170 db will bring vibration to the congregation... then it fades to a Voice over I previously recorded...

" TO BE ADDED or SUBTRACTED" (right here)

but in the pause between my last words the sound of Guns and explosives shatter the silence... then a miasma of cyanide overwhelms the gathering.... then Barry Whites "Let the music Play" at 12000 db kills everything living nearby...

then Hearses within Hearses will cart the dead and dying away... Hey I dont wanna die unless I take all you butt divers... with me...

them my Coffin will sit upon High explosives in a DIP a deep hole where my body parts will disintegrate and shower down my personal Liquids... upon detonation of 50,000 punds of Bomb Power... it will turn me to a mostly burnt mist, But I like the idea, to be useful to the earth by fertiliser in micro blasted droplets and particles..

after the event there will be a mass execution for all attendants followed by a deep bath of Nitric Acid... Cheerful happy days are here again... see you then baby...