Each and every damn day I die a little bit more, reliving Aug 13th, 2019... if you ever read anything else here, you may know what that signifies... the last Day of Boo's life... which was about the worst day of my whole long life... each day it repeats;
which I relive, many different parts of it every day, it is an Ache deeper than any broken bone or tooth, deeper than Sciatica which is close to the Childbirth of a dead baby in double pain physical spiritual and emotional... worse than passing a kidney stone while on cold turkey with 9 broken ribs having fallen off a cliff yet still just barely clinging to life...
it is the loss that consumes every other thought feeling or intention... it annuls every impulse to do make or create anything, it is the manifestation of Manic Depression incarnate, you sit and stare at Youtube and go into a living coma of diss-interaction, your more like a~Halloween Lamp with a dying candle, soon you will be trash for the landfill...
There is no Misery like that of a truly broken heart, it beats any addiction, no need to go out and buy it... it lives inside you constantly breaking through the thin barrier of conscious thought... that nagging tugging feeling the never relents...
no drink drug massage or Holiday can remove its constant influence...
there is no escape from your conscience, bad men die terrible deaths of unending remorse
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