Friday, 22 September 2017

Know One, seek thyself.

Your Being is a Colony of integrated departments, there is no one single You, you are many things to different people, some may love you many may hate you. and you can never be all things to all people: but definitely something sweet or great even to somebody somewhere who has yet to be found: at this timeline:

even you may hate you. I submit to You; a soul is not a coherent Whole, even an Atom can come to an end or changed radically by heat or Chemical, nuclear, Catalytic reaction... but it retains 'bits' of it's former self: which part of your being contains your Soul? = it is beyond mere particles or cells alone to equate to:

i.e. we are made of Schizophrenic Particles and salient basic interchangeable Atoms... they react and unite, do they not, in some conditions? The distance between the ethereal and the actual are so close, without realising you are multidimensional... and dont think twice about it:

if your present mind is considerate to others, through " the right word, the right Deed, resulting in the Right Action" = a unified conclusion of a right or a Law, that we can all agree to... where Honour and Human respect can be preserved indefinitely... 

in a dimension where neutrality can be observed... in the Prescient Omniscience of mutual Compassion from different perspectives... 

Mercy Truth and Mothering Love bond people for life, if you have no empathy for the Many, then you are not one of Us; but in a transcendent moment you too can be changed and rearranged by accident.... when you most are thirsty, in dire need of comfort, a stranger can become your Samaritan...

Don't wait for them to come to You, Be that Samaritan in a moment of True humanity... give a little of your self to those in greatest need and feed the needy with even a half smile in a public place... just be cheerful even when you don't want to be, don't lay your heavy woes on a light spirit;

Show the Metal of your very substance and be justified, no act of Kindness is ever wasted, bring hope to the hopeless or a smile to the dying, it is such a Catharsis to let that shit go, and cry yourself into a Chinaman....

you are the smallest fractal in the last broken glass of Mankind: make it count!... Kiss until your lips bleed... then sleep in peace.

Monday, 18 September 2017

Bitter Sweet Ghosts of Glasgow

that's another Que for a Beatles song, it's crazy how they say so much for a given life situation, their lyrics are far more beautiful than anything in the Koran, and equals anything exciting in the Bible, where the roots of our programming were live and Raw... in places that make us who we become... Glasgow is one of those places... a craggy old hole, where the Barras smell of Mildew and every tenant block staircase stinks of Urine and the odd opportunist Feces of Drunks on a quiet landing.



Fick me; the Ghosts of Glasgow City return to me from another physical incarnation, the best of my youth was totally wasted there... yes; and I do still Care... but nevertheless... 

Gibson street keeps coming back to me... Curry alley, at the foot of Kelvingrove park, and close to the Museum. The DALI's in that Museum not to mention the delicate pastel Renoir's of Ballerinas, I used to go there every Sunday, first few years... 

having sacrificed any success with personal excess, by mental spiritual and physical break down; the place is so firmly woven in my essence it is hard to shake off sleep or dream off... Glasgow is a Dominion in my personal Holographic Soul. going to the Top of the BOYD ORR Building... Byers rd, and all its delights... hearing ABBA the very first time in summer 76 the Curlers Pub next to the subway.. it was a profound moment with such an HD Memory... 

I was a misfit in world of almost perfect people, I could not compete, so I deleted myself in alcoholic denial, I felt so Inadequate and worthless I couldn't even fake normality, I became distilled in dissolution fragments of a turd trying to be a whole, I lived with a confirmed Pscizophrenic called, Freddy Robbins, He was an ex Lecturer at the RSAMD (Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama) He was my Landlord, not my Bitch! DUH... 

His Wife Was Raped by an opportunist burglar while He was at work, and His Kids were in the next Room a few years before I moved in, that was 1980 fick firk and fuck me, that's a frigging lifetime ago.. BUT.. it drove him slowly insane, to become in need of ECT treatment, which I think mostly Blew his Fucking mind... he would occasionally attack you if you mentioned or even referred to his Daughters... His madness was a result of not being able to express his animal Rage toward His Wifes attacker...

I lived there and in several places, if you want to do a homage of my 9 years there and do a midnight prayer meeting on my behalf... and be close to me in memory.. as if. like a Jack the ripper's hangouts...

1st go to 

29 Dunearn st, off GWR, (Great western Rd) 

8 Huntley Gardens

10 Grovesnor crescent

29 Arlington Rd

6 Crown Gardens

12 Princes Gardens

53 Grovesnor Gdns, That was Freddy's place...

10 Willowbank Crescent


At one point I used to walk the streets all night, the things I found and places stuff was happening, I found a Dead Man, I told you before in a previous blog.. one night I found a canvas bag in a back alley, with a stash wad of cash in it, I left Glasgow the following week.. out of paranoia, back to Mum in Midhurst...with £44,000 in cash, I gave Mum a Grand, and went on holiday to Spain for 2 weeks... yes the very unlikely is terrificly possible if you are in the right place at the ascendant moment of fatality...

Glasgow is a world apart via much Art... with many an unspeakable abuse and perversion up the many tenements... its a heartbreaker of a space where the isolated have no place.




Unfinished but I can't help posting it now... it may get abridged by the next time you glance upon it... the safe and cosy present soon becomes a nightmare of a distant memory, its the past that finally kills you... the emotions of it's recall are to much to contain in an old body... so you burst and die like a Party Balloon... Pop your instant trash now it's official@ Deaths Portal: 

Still feeling Cosy?





Sunday, 17 September 2017

The Joy of Soy Sauce

Being a late developer I recently discovered the Joy Of Soy sauce, simple Soy Sauce!... which you always overlooked before... I tried it in BAMI GORENG a mostly noodle based meal only available in LIDLS, it has a few pieces of Pork in it, you can add chopped 'Genuine German Frankfurter also available in LIDLS..The Soy Sauce costs 40p = Nothing...

a heavy yet liberal dab of Ground Black Pepper

if you want to get fat for fuck all, shop at LIDLS...  it's a Luxury Pig Feeder,  for peasants everywhere... Like I used to be, but fuck it, I still shop there, with a BIG Trolley... 

Such simple things are profound moments in my meaningless life, I only wish you could be as happy and worthless as me... its the perfect life... to accept who and what you are... 

When you finally don't give a Fuck you're becoming human:

Friday, 8 September 2017

Enlightenment is a pattern

A Phrase can change everything, a spoken phrase has resonant frequencies and sound makes patterns, not only in Sand... but the easily led minds of simple ignorant people. Allah Akbar is the spell that consumes Muslims... a total lie and fraud from beginning to end. they are trained Rats nothing more: and Ironically they are the Kuffar...

what possible phrase could reach out and profoundly change a misaligned souls outlook... what could change a Jihadists radical views and turn Him/Her around... to a better reality.

I hesitate to pronounce it... call me a decrepit Hippy, but I think the only Phrase sound word pattern to initiate compliance in a breakdown situation, could be...

I love You.
which means I will Help you, beyond all boundaries; Physical and financial; and jump tandem from 20,000 feet to prove it... even if we hit the ground, we had a moment of fun: at least we saw the truth before we fell... and knew eternity as we impacted; how lucky you are to know when you die:

Though I would die with you, and For You, if it made an atom or a mite of a difference: Love is Life, not death = don't Ya know? how could anyone confuse the two: but foolish folk do!...

to feel one good moment is enough for Buddha. it contains every happiness you ever felt as an unfolding infinite fractal of perfectly assimilated perception, one action and effect have other consequences outside and beyond your limited field of an undeveloped deeper understanding... so complex it is only understood in the simplicity of Joy! which lasts a lifetime...

Just the Knowledge of Beauty makes you beautiful... only God can see what the world fails to. only a friend will tell you the truth about you: love that friend: share this life:



Friday, 1 September 2017

Sorrow sadness and servitude;

The Sorrow sadness misery and subservience to that trio, not to mention the guilt that is a chain around your heart, the blood, and tears, the idiocy is enough to self-detonate.... but there is still some pleasure to be had before you go tit's up...

The ethereal yet heavy chains of slavery to sorrow as thin as a spiders web but heavier than lead, that perpetually fills your head like an echo that will not come to an End: it's a miracle there are not more suicides worldwide, when the living despair that consumes the hearts of sensitive souls to insanity is so prolific, they opted to do it SLOWLY, by each false Lover, every Drink and fix of pleasure you can stomach.... till they collapse in a heap of silicone and fake white teeth..

the pile of guts you must carry in a handcart, on your way to hell... to feel constant pressure to attain expectations and to achieve.. is the nearest to living hell itself.. when your mind is infiltrated with deep fractures of playful Paranoia.. at that time all you want to do is Sleep.. (like I did after my "Honey died" 'was put down' actually..) I turned my back on Life altogether, it was a sadness beyond bearing...

I slept 13-17 hours a day just to kill time and escape life.. for nigh on 7 years... so I slept 4 out of 7 years of my life.. Until I started using Speed.. to pick me up and chuck me out of bed..

when you get old you can barely push it; as if fills to overflowing.. not just heavy; it stinks too; so many painful memories, that recur and haunt ones inner visions in memory's of a long tapestry of fallen battles; past days.. long gone and all but dead except in your solitary mind..

it's intermittent.. but a haunting nevertheless, for 8 years after My 1st Dog 'honey' died, I was in denial that I needed another one.. nothing could replace Her, I was wrong...


Boo did.. and She Does.. to love a living thing.. with joy every day, makes anyone's life a little better in so many ways.. And..

Sorrow is captured and filtered.. via the idiosyncratic random reflexes of a "Pet Animal" and turned into long moments of contentment.. if you have never been loved by a "not so Dumb Animal" then you have never loved from the soul... to return what is; a debt beyond repaying.

where else can you truly find purity of Heart and intent.. that asks you for nothing more than, a crumb of love... but a crumb of Love is enough when you find the absorbing contemplation.. that just to be with them... is enough; and all you could ever want...

an element of deep contentment is the key to a Spiritual life,.. not what you will never have... but "wot You got right here and now''... to want for more than you presently need, is Greed...

and we know where that leads... when too much is never enough; take a breath; stand back from the material world... and be content with what you have.. and Sigh with all your heart... and ask;

What more do I deserve... then in a flash an answer comes back.. and a resonating voice from beyond the forthcoming grave says...

"Nothing this time"... if you survive the transition of Death itself.. you may one day... be seduced and entangled by all that you desire... yet be half the person you were before...

so Kiddies; be careful what you wish for... to want more leads to less.. what comes naturally will lead to success... the key that opens the door to every house.. in the mansion of many rooms, starts from knowing the address?... not many find it;

but all are welcome... to the place with no name, that exists in every brain.. stop striving, start thriving... it's that easy and; that close.. follow your woes... god knows the result... you cannot lose a race that you are not running in?.. Poor old BOLT has had his Day, even lions Die for want of Youth...


There is no love like ANIMAL LOVE... you are safer with a Wild Animal that trusts you, than any human with a knife in their back pocket... and that aforesaid animal will gladly give its life to Save you selflessly sacrificing its future, for your present:

Today: I had momentary transcendental infarction; a very long infinite moment, that made me into a Fountain of Water in gratitude to my circumstances, and my heart became every drop of Water, as it hit the wind on it's way down back to Earth and fractured into smaller and smaller droplets...

I became each droplet, and each Drop repeatedly sang, 'thank you' for this wonderful fulfilling soothing beautiful moment of peace and total tranquillity, I felt the promise and Certainty of eternal life and becoming consciousness again in a fresh embodiement.. filled with Love so delicate most people cannot feel, as their selfish Egos block out all goodness... become with the collective:

never be too tired; to Make Peace; even with yourself: it can change the future of Your personal Mankind: immediately, and repeatedly to make amends with your soul and old friends... Love an enemy today, or maybe next week even..

at least patronize one if you have the energy (ツ) 

Keep it light, all good comes from it.

Monday, 21 August 2017

a Parasite in Paradise

Which describes pretty much all of us... opportunist infiltrating usurpers in a wonderland you don't really deserve... blown Airbourne Troopers, fakes frauds second raters scammers and asswipes, of which I am emperor apparent...

Psychopathology has gone underground... the human soul is a selective random number generator... making sense of the vast overwhelming input that cannot all be understood at the same time... a game of to and fro, ping pong, from within to without...

if you can't make sense of this World... you better invent your own. (while writing this I am watching Jimi Hendrix life story on Netflix, I had to get my own account, I guess because the identity I had Access to, was obviously a teenage girl, (her watch history was all soppy silly sentimental crap;

and 2 weeks after I got my wrap around Cinema TV, Her recommendations must have given the game away, i.e. "Serial Killers" Life in jail type Docu's, sleazy shows only a low life would watch...

so She must have realized and told Her Dad, "Dad! did you leave the fucking password in our old TV!?... you dick!... coz I am getting Smutty shit on my Netflix that asks me if I want to continue... watching a show about Sex Trafficking fer Christ's sake, obliterate the password ASAP"

I did smugly expect a HALT in the flow, and it came, and yet was surprised it took 3 weeks nearly to suss it out... so I got my own account now, and am 1 week into my free trial month... it's like digital crack, once you had a go on a Trampoline, you wanna do it again kinda thing... mind you most things There are equally mediocre... but its eye gum, rather than actually full on Candy...

very few things get the full viewing, I would drive a wife insane, I change channel more often than your average moron... very little really entertains me... the supposed "truth" is the best entertainment... how does a Paracite make sense of a World filled with conflicting information...

Happy Channel searches folks... one day there will be something worth watching... like dear Old Jimi... I remember the night he died... I was doing a Teen Disco at the local Youth Club, and my Pal Lesley came in and shouted in my ear.. "Hendrix is Dead"

I didn't cry then, but I am crying tonight... in the mixed up cornucopia of entangled remembered emotion in a Mental montage of my life experiences, from so long ago and way back when... my tears are liquid platinum, dissolving into fractured smithereens, diamonds of melancholy...

90% of all Love is Remembered. you ignore it without a second thought when you experience it, a paradoxical irony that the best of life and love is in the past: yet is always available as long as you treasure it. in a reverie so deep there is no bottom -

lose 'that treasure' and you will wish to be dead: even a memory is only an electrostatic residue between a matrix of synapses...

Friday, 18 August 2017

is Life Worth Living?

even those starving in Gulags look to the sky and yearn to live again.

try to look up while standing in a waterfall, it's damn nigh impossible.. to see anything above you if you will...

4me; Fuck Yeah, speaking personally it's great, I need for nothing now...

Do You think it is Wonderful, to be Alive right now...?
This question was given to a centenarian.. on a TV Show "Old Peoples homes for 4-year-olds" a wonderful experiment of bringing in your Children to an 'Old folks home,' I was riveted from the realization of the context... on CHANNEL 4, go see it on catchup.. available worldwide...

My Answer to that Question is "Oh Yeah".. even this little life is enough for me... so much choice and freedom, if only we knew how to ameliorate all our resources. to find duality of peace, both inner and Outer, (sociologically speaking) 

it feels very real to be alive, oh Boy what a convincing illusion, now work on your Soul, your gonna need it when you get scared of dying....
this Body is the last incarnation before you get the chance to go further...

or end up with the bones you tried so hard to cling to...

I have been spending like a newly divorced Westminster plutocrat (in my terms) I have been Stoned solid for a month, accumulating Tech... it's all about percentages... like I said before; What I spent is a very lot... but what I have left is even bigger...

From July 23rd I became middle class aspiring to be an incognito hundred thousand aire... I have a massage twice a week...

and smoke dope like Satan in solitary confinement..... I wish Blonde could get her panties off with me.... I know she would like it coz; I fuck like a Reptile.... Warmed by the sun and a Proboscis covered in scales... with a few exciting warts that make penetration so much nail biting ecstasy... I Fuck like a Dog, that's why I only Dig Bitches...

I am as comfortable as a long fart silently released... this is almost virtually paradise... see you on the national News...