Sunday, 18 December 2016

The paper Internet..

One evening in 1959/61..  a Man came to "sit with us" not a bible brasher, but a living live "salesman" from Encyclopaedia Britannica.. My simpleton anal retentive Father, sat totally subservient like a patsy, and after hours of explanation, the salesman posed a question My dad had no answer to.. 

"dont you want this for your whole family, a mine of information to help you better understand the world in which we live.. a whole library where almost everything is found.." 6 easy payments total with interest, £109, 19 shillings.. how would you like to pay..?

so my dimwit dad bought what you can only term an enclosed paper internet.. it tried to be all things, every answer to all questions.. yes that sucker bought it, and do you know where it proudly sat?.. in the Airing cupboard.. until one day he sold it for £10 when he was drunk..

along with other impulse purchases he made also while Drunk.. the first polaroid Land camera.. he got one of those, and shot all of one packet of pics.. then, an 8mm movie camera... and of course My Mother paid it off.. as usual... he was penny wise and pound simple.. a real dickhead.. a terrible example for a son to emulate.. he used to sit in the dark Drunk; weeping like a wailing woman, crying over his Mum.. whom he was cruel to... he bought 40 cars in 2 years, was his proudest boast..

he left the navy in 1957 and for his wartime service, as an Officer was given a gratuity of £10,000; a veritable fortune in those distant days.. and in the next 5-7 years blew the lot on one dead end idea or investment, He took us all to New Zealand, for a year, He thought he could find a future there..

He had a crippling weakness.. Women and Drink.. He was just a fornicator never a father.. a mean guttersnipe who who sneered in early photos of him.. joined the Navy at 14, went through night school and got a lot of Quals.. and became a NAVIGATOR which is so ironic, as he was hopeless at navigating his own life..

He used to say " joined th Navy when I was 14 for 'sixpence' a week.. and came out an Officer.." yes Dad, but not a Gentleman.. just a bitter peasent who never evolved or ameliorated into the Class of Person he thought he had aspired to.. and tried mix with..

I was just an inconvenient Bastard, and treated me like one, but was his only Son.. whatever that means?.. not a lot to him.. it was homo to love your son's then..

People were so simple and naive.. now you dont need to get a book, or books.. the whole world is there at the asking.. if you only know; 'what to ask'.. if only you were hungry enough to go for it..

but people are still simple, as they still dont understand the Answer when they get one.. life is a Fractal, you can only look deeper..

He Drowned at Sea in the Persian Gulf.. in 1976.. the Tanker he was in broke its back in a Storm.. others were saved; but He was lost.. and my wicked Step mother from Central casting, got the lot..

I guess I just Exorcised Love hate and Repressed grief of my father's memory here in blog.. I wish he had been a better man, but would I have been any worse if he was.. it doesn't necessarily follow.. that good man make good Kid.. that is why we are all masters of our own destiny.. but having no Guidance leaves you without something to hold on to... we never had a single conversation in my entire time with him.. he was a shallow man with desire alone for a soul.. wrapped in a foreskin like a knitted jumper with Sleeves too long..

A Sham of a Man, a Ham of a Hamlet.. a Groundling who thought he was a Player... not a Father just an intoxicated fornicator.. and fuckers breed fuckers.. Duh.., My mother was a bug catcher for mindless fornicators, she was herself a fornicator.. with a baby pay back later... a fat worthless bastard..

a finely tuned natural intelligent mind can hack it.. but very few get through from the limiting distractions of Pleasure or self indulgence.. games have champions, life is a game for all to win, if you choose the path without sin.. and seek the eternal within..

Cheaters never win.. and frauds are skinned alive in the vast rat hive of social media... be careful who you choose to be online.. being too natural is now a hate crime... Go no Makeup!.. like Alicia Keys dont paint your face to please... Go as You Are... only Real people are the real true Stars.... Spontaneous friendly funny likable.. Random people make the best bedfellows...

The University of Diversity is just a bus ride away.. you dont make money having fun.. unless your an accidental Artist... wash the brush in the tears of your sorrow.. the painting is your life... every twist and turn of fate is a line.. on the journey of your own self discovery.. or self destruction...

a fate can turn on someone else's Whim.. be Master of your heart and find the goodness within... Dream if you need to..





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