Friday, 1 April 2016

Silent snub..

Everybody hates me.. Sadly it's true; I make sure of it, with a cursed talent for making enemies.. and lightning alienation at the moment of meeting..

I had a nasty realisation yesterday.. Remember "that Old Hag" I met in the park; end of last Year.. who I thought was so warm open and human?.. well it turns out she is just another mean insular fake like everyone else.. just a well mannered polite plastic fraud; without any soul at heart.. just placating behaviour..

I saw Her yesterday as I drove down a small side street.. and from about 140 feet I saw Her sickened moment of recognition as she saw me driving toward Her.. She immediately turned and looked into a real estate office window, to hide.. so that I might not see her or bother Her again.. didn't realise I was so observant.. I didn't "beep" my horn, stop or wind down my window...

as I was so Hurt I couldn't think clearly... See what I mean, everybody loathes hates and despises me.. I had no intention of stopping, or making small talk... her revulsion cut me deeply.. not even a wave of her hand, or a tiny smile.. I dont want to Bother Her.. but How nasty to make it so obvious!..

I was becoming quite indifferent to Her.. but now I Hate Her... what a stuck up bitch.. not even a small gesture of peaceful acquiescence, I was fooled by a tainted old Actress, playing all her old roles.. not a grain of real humanity in sight.. just histrionics..

now I see her like; that Picture of Dorian Grey; when it is opened in the attic and starts to age, she has turned into a skull on the Ace of spades.. with skin like Crocodile.. a dried river bed made by false smiles and many deceptive guiles..

Mind You She does have one of MacBeth's Witches for a Daughter.. Whom I happened to bump into about 6 weeks ago in the park.. and I knew immediately upon talking to her what her lifelong struggle with the Slimmers compulsion is.. she is a full blown "Terminal Narcissist" so obsessed with herself; She has little affection for anything else.. especially her poor Dog..

as; He walked up to me; and I stroked his matted coat in horror; I said to Her.. Don't you Brush him?.. and she Snorted Pouted and posed then arrogantly declared "NO.." as if it was a disgusting suggestion.. I knew then what a Burden Her Mother has.. I think she has a very bad temper too.. no doubt.. I studied her pictures, and read so much inner distress in her, and how it expresses itself through her personality...

Poor Bitch looks like a Voodoo Doll; her legs look like a witchdoctor's necklace.. She wouldn't look out of place in Mexico's annual "Day of the Dead" festival... but sadly She's mentally fixated, and it has such a very high mortality rate... Anorexia.. so I do sympathise.. to some degree..

she must be Hell to live with.. so I almost forgive Her mum for snubbing me so Obviously... but I was so Hurt; it's hard to reconcile.. I was wearing rose tinted glasses and viewing her through nieve Polarising simplistics.. and She's a Therapist? I bet they need therapy after being with her...

if You ask me Both of them need electroconvulsive therapy.. ECT ect ect (lol).. She should smoke Mary Jane.. that makes crazy people saine.. look at me? do I sound fucked up?.. why, Yes; I may well be;.. but I'm not gonna let it bother me... Now I've written it down it's off my chest.. because that is how I deal with my Petty frustrations and heartaches..

pity they can't do the same.. Yawn.. off to bed with cup of Horlicks.. Goodnight and fuck You too!... 

Thank God for my Boo Boo, beats any Woman or Teddy Bear.. '~' 

if you watch this all 8 hours of this Vid over a few days.. you'll better understand my state of mind on the above.... 

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