Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Delusion Deleted

It's amazing what a good sleep can do for you.. and a phone call from a Boffin.. I flaked out after freaking out.. and slept like Dracula right through the day.. until an old Pal who worked in Military intelligence, called me, in reply to my email I sent him last week...

and not only did it wake me up it shook me up and sorted me out.. definitively... He told me "Her" complete situation... and not to take any steps further... it was quite an awakening I dont mind telling you..

He sent me links, to very revealing personal Pictures and information.. nothing obscene, but illustrating her life and those around a Daughter with a serious eating disorder.. and other quite detailed info..  Niece of Sir Alec Guinness; a Famous Knight of the Realm!.. and I can now tell You... with great relief.. !!

2 Intense weeks of spiritual Hysteria and high blood pressure; for what?.... My Delusion is Deleted: thank God I didn't Go any further.. it is patently apparent to me.. now.. that it was all a figment of my "wishful thinking".. but It did show me what the brain can do with the right stimulus.. I still had a good time..

But will still work on the Comedy... and enjoy myself.. and not take things so seriously.. My infatuation has deflated into a flat tyre... Oh My God.. what fools we make of ourselves.. how embarrassing eek!.. but I wrote some stunning material, because of it..

I hope to Hell if she read any of this shit... that she can be relieved.. I will just move on to my next project... a shiver of cold went up my back.. and slapped me square in the Chops...

You know something?... in an instant.. I dont really care.. I really dont.. Wow.. the power of information to alter aberrant behaviour and terrible potential mistakes.. 

God remains faithful.. only people let you down.. we all make mistakes I guess... but Me more than Most.. I am not hurt in the least?.. well a little; and annoyed with myself, to get so carried away, I nearly got a Fucking Heart attack..

NOBODY IS WORTH IT.. "wot's on Telly?"

Just a Minute.. I Still think she is very Lovely human, but; by now I have already alienated Her no doubt.. but really dont think she is even remotely interested in knowing a grotesque half wit.. who is of no use to anyone.. Ok I do feel slightly annoyed.. at my Doe eyed naive full throated turbo tuned bullshit... but some of those lines really "ring"..

Well a Poet needs a Muse, and She was mine... Now I'm looking for a new one... looks like it's gonna be; a long time coming...

Ho Hum...
it sucks to be me!

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