Got up Early, determined to get to the park for 11am... Showered, shaved, got everything ready to go.. to try and hook up with Her.. just about opened the front Door.. paused, froze..
Then let the door close.. took off my coat.. The Dog looked confused; me too... made a Coffee and Chickened out... so much for my Steel resolve.. and faith in destiny... What a downer.. figuring, the longer I leave it the better..
So got lost in some other work.. 10 days since the "event".. how many days will it take, it's Christmas what chance is there in the chaos of festive hysteria.. No doubt she has a houseful of family, and her doting husband will be carving the turkey in a few day's..
this morning it all seems like I am running on empty.. and my world of infinite love has crumbled to dust.. Oh Yeah? not quite.. Hope springs eternal... Just be patient and allow nature to take it's course.. I'm quite happy to be a servant of God's will.. whatever it costs!..
this is not all about Me.. I must remember; Her Happiness always comes first.. this is not about taking... it's about giving, living.. and letting go.. who knows the future now?....
Not me; not today... now it's the "Long Haul"... the grind to just keep going.. so I went back to bed, to the only place I feel safe.. where Dreams 'come true'..
Dreamland..
goodnight sweetie.. +
Always thinking of You..
lovingly x..
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