The Organic Software of Sentience...

Sentimentality v Practicality:

To be loved for who you are, or what you got?.. is rarely the case, people come for a pretty face, every time, trophy wives, with fake tits lips pumped Butt. that accommodate the desired level of esthetic thresholds which is no sin or disgrace... 

it is the vanity of a parasitic weed, that thinks its a Flower, if indeed flowers had a persona.. consider Belladonna... she is the kiss of oblivion.. to the naive inexperienced and Ignorant.. which we all have been, yet some malingerers remain.. wise up or hang yourself.. where is the unifying truth that bonds all desires to the Body, yet leaves only tit-bits for the Soul...

Beauty always fools young and old fools alike, who is all of the young, but most of the Old.. there are very few life experienced children... the predictable pursuit of pleasure, to extremes, can give you PTSD from the very gratification you seek.. unrequited ejaculation is over before it starts..


Kill all of your unfulfilled desires.. false love is fatal: remember the Prophet ''Diana'' said.. You cant hurry love... you just have to wait..

extemporise !

The Fascism of esthetics... is alive in the church of Hollywood..
who have suffered unbelievable torment only to be tainted by it like a "Hunchback" you cannot hide... nobody is drawn to you... why?.. Because you are as heinous as an anus... thrust into a strangers face.. a wart covered living genital who would rather be in anyones pants.. but their own... a living Shit who wont ever get flushed.. the only asswipe with a bubble in it at a party with a long queue for the toilet... and it wont flush away...

If people see it they will know "that is Your Shit" you were too lazy to flush away... Shit is so very very Shitty...  when you are the Shit that is not a hit, but plops and explodes cold water by virtue of the perpendicular physics of reflected energy in a splash of water that "Goes back just where it came from" that cold splash that shocks you.. where you least expected it..

I am that Bubble.. and the turd with a penchant for Words, so I wrote this on the toilet wall while I was trying to give birth to a movement of ImPasse where the bulk was just too big for the passing...  the pleasure it can give one is beyond description, it is too base a subject to digress upon.. but that's only when Heroin slows down your bowels to a crawl, Then Shitting is a painful Challenge of endurance..

I have been playing with my Brain chemistry, in homeopathic amounts.. just enough to open the "gates of Perception".. as I see it.. lol..
a little bit of Speed, a touch of Marijuana and your in Nirvana Satori and the longest ejaculation of the spirit of life you ever.. never had.. but are having again, by Quantum observed predictions.. which are the past the present and the future... and all are warm and so beautiful.. you begin to feel the mind of God's Focus upon you; and within You.. as each and every thought becomes sheer pleasure by just thinking it...

I accidently found profound contentment.. the euphoria is almost unbearable..

I have found the gateway to the Quantum Floor... where God rests horizontally.. it is the internal beauty of a heightened state one that is felt/witnessed.. 

the "Software of your Soul" is seeking the impossible postulation, which when ruminate'd upon, becomes beautiful moments of peace and acceptance, and each thought is like a perfectly assimilated synchronicity of logic and intuition, where every thought feels significant; divine even, and fits perfectly with all other thoughts that come along.. like the Crop circles of inaccessible meaning with just sacred geometry to massage our blind eyes.. and mesmerises us with ordered beauty in a gentle message of revelation...

They are telling us that "they Love us"... could a tyrant barbarian make such total geometric perfection... and then let it be destroyed?.. much like the Buddhists in Tibet who spent weeks making similar "Prayers" in coloured sand, with minute details and great artistic merit... then at the appointed time.. they "Rub them out" and are no more on the floor... a symbol of atomic destruction right down to each and every individual atom that in total makes up the corporeal essence of an individual...

But the memory of it's existence is Sufficient!.. as it still lives forever in the fascinated heart.. You know real beauty when you "experience" it.. first hand... and it changes you for the better and the Good... if you try living each day as a prayer; a gift given to you; to also give away to others... in every interaction, you will begin to know the mind of God, Mindfulness, attention to detail, to be Alert aware awake and alive...  and in that state I find myself in a perpetual cycle of thanks, by giving thanks for this absurd high flown state of waking consciousness.. 

I accidentally stumbled upon all this... and found the Threshold of Nirvana, a moving living peace; an inversion of the dark despair you leave in the world of flesh and appetites for excess.. the proverbial "Peace beyond description" Christians have called it, a Joy beyond understanding or 'the spirit of Christ upon you'... living with you, and each thought feels so 'significant'? and every passing thought and feeling is a wonderful sense that they all fit together with unbelieveable sequential precision.. like a gearbox in a Rolls Royce, but you are the Car and your spiritual better Higher-self is driving... without touching the controls.. fly by wire by faith and everything in the approaching path is easily avoided or effortlessly augmented.. a "State of Grace" fits as a working description.. 

Every Breath feels wonderful and revitalising, each sigh is so deep and therapeutic it is like suddenly finding yourself in Heaven, nothing distracts your scalpel sharp focus, no bad memory can affect you, no wicked phantasm has power to hurt you anymore.. you have the infinite power of 'Mercy' the last bullet in the chamber.. 

How do I get to experience this Saturi?..

partially achieved by humble consolidation of what little you do have and giving thanks.. to God and Your Mother: or breaking down the walls of heartache.. with a starved and contrite intent.. lift your head to the sky.. and look down the Barrel of Eternity.. into the empty place you take for the Almighty's face.. and exorcise the right to be heard, call across the cold darkness, and allow the slow drip of true transcendence be your every moments contemplation.. compartmentalise the functions of body and delusions of the mind and Ego.. 

gratitude for being here and now.. a witness to the quantum deep tapestry of all matter and existence.. to be somehow on equal terms with God and the Mathematics of probability, with the advantage of Hope.. the sure promise of inner freedom that sustains you like the Memory of Your Mothers Love.. something that is undeniably CERTAIN.. yet hidden and subjective.. though a Scar that never heals.. sometimes; it stops bleeding.. for a while..

it is constantly renewing You, as each moment or hour of simple contentment is replaced by another, and another, the paradox of stillness through movement.. Happiness from sorrow, a true feeling of belonging, to the Human Family.. and the Love and trust an Animal gives you when you have been kind and considerate, from the heart to the heart, via the hand to the mouth to feed..

Where a sense of belonging and contentment almost overwhelm you, the sly cocktail of meditation and brain chemicals can lift you up to the sky... to love a face is mortal, to know a soul is forever... this is the coast territory of a frozen expanse called Self Actualisation... 

Which is something like.. being on your knees in the presence of a merciful master, who you know like a shadow.. who appears only in the light of polarised eyes.. open to the stars and the ever unfolding mystery of life..


The only Mystery is; the depth of our Ignorance... let go; to grasp firmly, just steer the boat of your being, an active mind is too busy to be Sad... Joy is in the enjoyment of functioning smoothly without sudden movements or shocks... be ready to die after every breath.. it will release you from the fear of living...  to a life of giving..