Yearning for Yesterday...

Grief is like a Menopause, that doesn't seem to pass.. it comes and goes in waves, and moments of high emotion and cold sweats.. when the only good thing about the present, is the ability to remember the past.. through a wasteland, battlefield, a grave Yard, where all the scrap is cut and melted... and the atoms of the Dead are re-animated in a ghostly theatre of Horrors mixed with Melancholy.. the territory of Dreams and tears..

More than ever I go back in my mind to a time from before, across 50 suns rotations... to the Gossamer World of delicate memories and chest crushing nostalgia.. the pain of the past is addictive, when there is nothing in the present...

I was thinking about something My Wonderful late Mother said.. when I was showing her pictures from the early 60's, She said clearly out of the blue.. "that is where we were happiest.." and recently I have been going back through the time machine of mind.. and.. I have to agree with Her..

to visit those places is not a pleasant experience every time.. When I miss what we had there, as a Family in those sunny summer days.. as a kid who thought everything went on forever...

The Saddest thing in the World, is a Memory of a Happy time... remembered alone in a far distant future... the pain of the past has a price... a fractured heart, like a lost body part, and irreparable... 

The Older You get the most precious passing time is occupied by recollection and reaching deeper into the unconscious images of precious things long gone to dust.. repainted or demolished.. 

those that remain are shrines to a happiness that is gone except in the nostalgic necromancy of the Soul touching a memory of something real, that fills your emptiness through the abyss of sentimentality.. cold and dark, by tiny shred of life that links the past to now... and gives birth to tears from the eyes..


careful what you think, coz what you think becomes where you go...