Saturday, 17 November 2012

a Fundamental state of pointlessness...

I have a theory... about why certain people suddenly die.. there is a kind of mental spiral, that goes infinitely downward.. it starts with sleeping on the sofa during the day... then weeks spent doing less and less, till you cant do anything, even going to the bathroom seems like a days work..

and even breathing gets to be tedious... you dont even watch the TV any more.. you stop washing, buying food and even eating, except potatoes and salt.. as its cheap and fills you up.. You get to the point when you long for a release from this torture, and eventually you reach it; that fundamental primordial state of pointlessness... when you dont even have the energy of an amoebae..

Your mind is numb, blank and without feeling... and you are close to total zero, as a living entity.. you become eraser-head.. knocking your brains out with all the delusions in dreamland for the terminally disappointed...

that is where those people who keel over and die get.. the closest stillness to stasis, the least activity possible to continue on, all enthusiasm dead lost and gone.. just soma is all you crave, be it for the night, afternoon, or forever... you dont care any more.. your soul slipped out and left you; like a stain in your under pants... and all you do is soil sheets and make smells.. might as well be a zombie.. because you become the living dead... waiting for freedom from a compassionate silver bullet..

Thank God The end of the World is at hand... just when I needed it most... to hide the tracks of My tears.. thank You Smokey.. it's already Armageddon when all the fun of life is sucked out of You.. except for that next drink pill or fix.. even suicide is too much effort... your happy to just lie on the couch till your last breath dissipates into the ether of eternity...

whispering.. fuck You too, as you expire: the summit was far too far, your happy to be stoned on base camp... till the drugs money and food finally runs out.. 

then you finally realise... "You are already dead"... and this life is just a flashback.. any idea what a flashback is?... it is all the bad memories you can remember;.. lived over and over again, until you greet Death as a SAVIOUR of all that twisted, self destructive emotion and a morning wash in ones own excrement... 



"Today is the tomorrow, You worried about yesterday"

Next week is last week relived, and last week is better left forgotten... it's 2012 and "the times they are a changin


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