a Perpetual nightmare..

Conciousness is such a complex matrix of many subsystems unified into one greater whole, that I have a nasty feeling it really does trans-mutate at the moment of extinction to another randomly... i.e. reincarnation, what a nightmare that would be.. so even if you killed yourself, you end up as someone else.. even though you might not want to..


I just got up at a bit after 2am, having slept the afternoon and evening away, and was lying there thinking I had enough of this pointless malingering life, like a bad smell that wont go away, that is when the above thought resurrected in my head..


so you cant get away even if you tried... beneath the veneer of daily life is a maelstrom of permanent distress waiting to eat you, there is no way out for a coward, you keep getting thrown back to try again, but how many times have you got to be recycled before you find a life you actually enjoy living?.. 


some people out there are having a great time, good luck to them, they are having all the fun and sence of achievement You and I will never know.. but if you hold on long enough... one day you may be them as well...


I'm ready for my electro convulsive therapy now Doctor, turn up the voltage you know how much I love to dance to the electrons...