Saturday, 27 February 2016

''The Happy Crack''

Cyber Times at "the Happy Crack" Bar grill and virtual Ho House on the prairie.. plug in turn on.. and you're there.. the first fist fuck is FREE!...

anyone wanna come over to my Hangout and have Cyber Sex and Virtual Martinis.. I will wear an artificial smile.. and you can photoshop your tits.. and blow up you derriere.. and pretend you're really there...

and we can all be our true sincere alternate avatar selves together and have some clean fun cyber interactivity, titanium condoms supplied by Apple encryption division.. no sperm gets out alive.. 

no promises to keep.. No hearts to break.. or excuses ever needed.. adultery by existential proxy server... free Legal advice, every fetish and depravity catered for..

no sheets to soil.. come in Your pant's.. whatever you feel comfortable in.. or nothing at all.. we got the sweetest vaginas in town.. and all at a price you can afford, recycled Virgins 2 for 1, on offer.. scrumptious soft warm titties.. and smoothe non slimey non-stick slitty's.. 

Put your finger in.. and "Try One Free"... 

whatever you can imagine you can have.. no perversion is too much to supply to our happy customers.. thats why Folks come back to the Crack.. it's lip smackin ass jiggling fun till dawn..

No washing required, no douching, spunky tissues cease to exist.. and you can hide behind the painted reality you cloned from anothers originality.. its only when you're pretending to be someone else.. that you can really be yourself... when it's not how cool you look, but how cool you really are... driving a body that never belonged to you anyway... with a mind from Central casting..

You are the ghost in the meat machine.. a Soul has no mass.. no Higgs Boson required.. what does not measurably exist; cannot cease to exist! it is without form... at all.. Because a Soul has no Mass:

Thats why ghosts can walk through walls.. and angels can fly... and true love never dies... here at "the Happy Crack"..

come back real soon.. why dont-ya.. instant forgiveness for $11 plus tax.. its a no risk; win win; on every spin; you may have piles, but will leave with a Grin...

Remember you cant catch the Pox through a Modem.. so get hard and stand up to the webcam, and show us wot u got.. and I'll show you mine... remember synchronised masturbation is not yet a crime?...

Join us; or sleep in Rigour Mortis..
coz when your libido dies.. it's time to make your dick into a sandwich for ''Jeffrey Dahmer''..

just slip into ''the Happy crack''.. and you'll never look back... 
just remember.. 
"it's the only cunt that loves you"..

Karaoke nights Thur: and happy hour from 5pm daily: live "Knob wrestling'' Sunday nights (Members Only) live "Pig fucking & slaughter" second tuesday of every month, after Easter: bring your own bucket if you want black pudding:

Oh the Aroma of Beer and hot Blood.. be there or be rectangular.. all assholes and village idiots welcome, you are amongst our best customers..

Daughter Sally will be sucking dick in memory of Uncle Jimmy Savile, for ''Children in need" live on stage; so please come; and come generously.. pump it out; squirt if it pleases you!.. oink oink.. 

O life on the farm of Earthly delights, we happy pigs in shit.. coz we just can't get enough of it.. pop in and shoot some pool as you drool.. and dont forget to oil your tool.. as too much friction can be painful, if your new.. to Anal...

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