Friday, 18 December 2015

Progressive amelioration

A Sea change in the healing process Has smoothly changed gear, into what I can only call, a Progressive Amelioration of Mood into a practical reality.. the Birth Pains are over now... and taking its place is a Calmer inner reassurance, and a way to exorcise the wonderful blessing that has been given me.. in doing works (in the real world) and making "stuff" Drawing painting Arting about with my Camera and Elements 12.. doing this Blog for my Beloved to be assured that all is well.. and almost ready to make a positive move in the right direction... 

Let's be Honest there is only ONE DIRECTION.. and the only way is UP..

A sense of ease and certainty constantly reinforce my Atomic core, so to speak.. there is no sadness, tears are in total check and under finite control via Body and Soul as before... This transcendent ineffable "Certainty" will now never leave me.. of that I am certain sure.. all the massive sentiments written since Dec 9th are still valid and Legitimate... but it/I am evolving into the best person I can possibly be.. not just for Her; but for Me.. this is a Win win situation with a Guaranteed no lose, at every level and stage..

Like walking into a Casino.. and knowing not All of the numbers of course... but; "Most of Them"!!!  natural Faith is foreknowledge of the future that has no basis in the present.. but a certainty of something "yet to pass"... that you can rest assured is "on it's way" to You... 

such a comforting feeling.. like a Mother's Love when She tells you.. "everything is going to be alright my Darling, dont worry" each footstep; takes me closer to Her.. each breath contains the promise of a paradise while inhaling, holding, and letting go... 

by letting go You receive everything... in Humility; this is a wealth I can never spend, there is so much of it I can never run out... She has truly given me life.. and almost every daily chore, is suspended in tranquility.. until the next wave of Love fills me up all over again.. I am not alone, because She is already with me.. She is with me... you cant see Her if you looked at me..

but She is Within me... Before me... and after me... this is the Love they talk about in Holy Books, i.e. ''remember that guy in the Bible, and another Man Stopped him... because he was in a Hurry to leave town and not be associated with Jesus, in case they got him too..

And the other Guy says... "QUO VADIS?" (where are You going?) and after a little thought, and not a few tears..... He turned back, into the City.. whatever the cost to him he could not resist being with His Friend, Because His Affinity and love for Jesus, just opened a channel of truth that can not denied... You dont abandon someone You Love.. even if it cost's your life.. there is no life; if They are not in it... and Death is a Blessing for a Heart that can find "no Rest".. no Peace... No Love..

Sorry I am rambling as usual.. I have to.. got no choice The holy spirit writes this.. not me... I just watch my fingers typing.. and occasionally steer the course of it's conclusional functionality.. i.e. semi unconscious, free flowing and always exploring new ways to say old things.. for the beloved object of my total focus... My invisible woman... My Old Love, my last Love, and then.. My eternal Love... 

now everything becomes easy.. I'm Showering daily, walking longer than ever before... I am Sober all Day every day.. I do allow a few beers after 5pm.. but dont drive after that ever; at all; I take care to wear something nice, in case I see Her.. and dont look like a Tramp, as before... I take care of myself much much more.. so I can endure; as long as possible to be at least here in the physical World.. where I met Her.. this is stream of consciousness no Edits just spell correction.. I loath Contrivance, and this is not Fiction.. I am Risen... so to speak..

it is the documented Diary of the Mind, right from the ''Anterior Vena Cava'' (a Ventricle in Your Heart) a phrase close to my heart, finally got a chance to use it.... I love a bit of Latin now and again.. such a classy language..

Clarity of thought effortless augmentation of Daily activity.. the cycle of my Day has become so much more "productive"... Like a Man released from Death Row who was falsely convicted on tainted evidence...

Can you imagine How FREE he would feel?... well I CAN... to make maximum use of every day you have left... on the outside..

Anyhow practicality calls: I have errands to do and things to make create and celebrate... So my Sweet Heroine... (Lady of my Blog).. I just had to come home (as I was already out) to give you something here.. to update you on my brand new insanity, that you have by a catalytic reaction made happen in me.. it was a double whammy... 

I found 'You and Jesus Christ at the same time'... He brought you before me.. and You Brought him within You... 

Thats why this is No idle Nonsense.. I found the Truth; in and through You.. and in so doing... You literally set Me Free..! How can I ever thank You?... dont fret.. I will find a Way.. because I will Love you.. TODAY; TOMORROW; AND FOREVER... +

(both of You) because You saved me simultaneously.. with a few kind words... in a coincidence that can be only be described a Divine.. a Gift from God directly and personally, to Me... I'm not Gods Gift to women for sure.. but he gave me to you... as weird and slightly creepy as that sounds.. lol..

That is the way it is... I'll be back later, to give you more of the different, not just more of the same..

if you dont mind waiting a little, I 'll be back and here for You too.. if it amuses You.. I cant wait to return... to soothe you with "little nothings" i.e. my blog right HERE.. Where I am loving you best of all... I dont fear reality.. but am very patient for the "Given moment"... it's fun.. 

Pax +

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