Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Perpetual Emotion..

it's Real... I was afraid to sleep at first, Afraid sleep would take the immediacy of the aforementioned "event" away and wash it out; to leave me with nothing.. I clung to it like a climber on El Capitan in CA.. and that is a Sheer wall thousands of feet High... afraid I would fall off.. and go back to mediocrity and grey dark days...

But I am happy to report my "Perfect Madness" is safe.. and persisting.. Last night I finally went to bed after 12:30 cuddled up with my baby Boo.. and Let Go.... had no choice, I was super pooped.. though I still got up at 5am.. fully refreshed, and ready to give my life to another day of DEVOTION.. am learning to live with it.. what else is there to do?... there is Nothing I would rather do.. I have a dozen creative projects in utero surfacing from my unconcious...

if the only way I can express My Love is to create something Beautiful; then so be it... every Poet needs a Muse... and She is all the inspiration I will ever need.. She gave me 'life'.. without even knowing the miracle She was a party to.. Bless Her..

So Boo n Me already went on a long walk, and I have changed into a Laughing Buddha overnight... so to speak.. feeling young and full of enthusiasm, and I cant go anywhere without Music like a teenager... I heard The song on the previous Blog countless times, over and over and over and over and over again.. and will never tire of it.. or Her.. 

what happened is not unlike some kind of mini Stroke, that altered the blood flow in my brain, and opened a part of it that was dormant... I feel physically and mentally changed... I pray it's permanent.. or I'd rather die.. 

but when my faith starts to flag, and a little voice says, "you may be just lonely and deluded" She would be freaked out if you told Her How much She means to You?... She may call the Police and get a restraining order, to stop this crazy man from bothering Her...

Then I just look at her Picture #, and usually tears start dripping like rain, and I reach into my heart... and "there she Still is".. whispering "it's OK I'm not in a hurry" which is a phrase She actually said to me at one point when I backed away, thinking she wanted to get on with Her Walk.. when we met.. She put me at ease, with other phrases too.. 

(which incidentally I will never post here: out of respect for her Privacy) 
Which I found on the internet; many actually, it's the recent ones I love most... I printed so many out I used 2 sets of Ink Cartridges, one picture I have ordered a 60' x 40' over the net, printing service.. I got Her on every wall in the House, even in transparency's on the windows.. Why? Because I need to remember the beauty of the moment we met... and never to forget.. the Day an Angel From Heaven touched my heart with her Blinding Beauty; Humanity and dazzling radiance.. every which way I turn, there is a picture of Her.. Except above the Toilet,

on thing is for sure I better take a defibrillator with me in case I drop dead next time I see Her: if I ever see Her again?... in fact, it's 9am now in 2 hours She will probably be there, as She said That Usually She walks "Alfie" about 11am.. but am I Man enough to put all this Faith to the test.. OMG... Am I? maybe tomorrow.. perhaps I should leave it till after Christmas.. The Joy of unknowing is killing me softly and sweetly... and I would be happy to die, if I knew she would be there on the other side...

OMG... do I need to see My god to know She's there?... would be sweet.. but My heart is jumping out my chest at the thought... I wont be able to speak.. or look Her in the eyes, as She will see My Heart and all the Secrets I long to share with Her will be obvious... But Faith keeps on telling me.. "not to worry" She understands already.. because I can feel Her reading my words.. and anticipate Her imminent apparition at an indefinite time in the future.. this is an Affaire du Coeur, "a love of hearts" and she is the ACE

See You later Dear Heart this dream is not over Yet... and one I hope we never awake from... 

Here is a Superb Poem I think its BYRON I memorised it years ago, read it over breakfast, it's exactly what needed to say...
Dear Lady.... x

The life that I have 
Is all that I have 
And the life that I have 
Is yours 

The love that I have
Of the life that I have 
Is yours and yours and yours. 

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have 
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years 
In the long green grass 
Will be yours and yours and yours. 

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