My Hangover...

Ouch.. I hurt right down to my spinal Chord and on into my soul.. When I wake up with a bad hangover life is agony, a headache from hades throbs in my head, my brain feels like a large dried berry rattling around in my skull.. 

but the worst bit is the aftermath of unfolding paranoia as you slowly remember what you did... in the few hours before you crashed out.. the people who end up in jail for a few hours of drunkenness is easy to believe... 

some people on Death row only got there because they lost control, and went too far.. and did bad things, that they usually wouldn't do.. and they spend the rest of their days regretting that dumb ass act of stupidity that got them there... because of liquid that they willingly drunk without a second thought...

Every thought hurts and fills one with cringing shame and embarrassment... over and over looped like a video sample replaying endlessly... Thank God I didnt kill anybody.. because I do think about it, and how easy it would be to do...

Alcohol is "Ass-hole Fuel" it turns pretty much anyone into a loud declaiming vandal and an out of control Imbecile.. and a trouble magnet... it fucks up friendships of value, and opportunities of importance into train wrecks... it's a kind of accidental social suicide, where You alienate every good soul who wasted precious time to trust and like you...

till the only friend you have is a Whore called Ethyl .. who leaves you before you wake up.. when you find her gone.. And You want her again, but have to pay up front when the shops open.. it's a self imposed cycle of self destruction.. don't I know it... 

my greatest regret from this last session, was writing an over personal chatty letter to Quentin Tarantino in a message on face book.. a rambling boozy discourse about a couple of Film Storys or outlines I have been nursing for a few years.. both are promising ideas.. and unlike anything You have ever seen in any story before, they say in Hollywood there are only 7 core stories.. well I have found an 8th.. but I dont think I sold the idea very well in the several paragraphs I sent to him...

I know what your thinking... (Oh Yeah.. is what your now thinking) You'll tell me, "dont be stupid He wont get your stupid letter... dont worry about it.. it probably wasnt even him, but some idiot pretending to be him.. like so many frauds on F-book" oh Yeah?.. I dont think so.. but your part right, as some assistant will get it and just erase it.. Phew what a relief...

I call face book "faeces book" coz only a piece of shit would want to be seen there, with every other fake waste of life that dwells there... pretending they are popular with hundreds of plastic ass-wipes like them trying to look interesting.. 

Yes I am on face book, but you wont find me!.. as unlike everyone else, I dont want to be found.. but need to be there as some of my contacts are easier to liaise with there.. I use a pseudonym.. but like a password, You'll need to be very clever or have known me intimately to get it?...

Guess What My hangover has almost abated the energy required to do this blog has neutralised my headache.. I love my Blog.. it's my surrogate Wife.. I tell her everything and She absorbs it.. and never forgets a single phrase.. it gives me mixed feelings that others can read it.. slightly thrilling that I might be a bit interesting, and a bit frightening that twisted vengeful enemies will try to locate my Mountain retreat..

I'm not even in this country?.. but elsewhere... a place of safety in a World of Danger.. My kingdom is a warm bed that I call the Cotton Vagina, coz I never want to withdraw from it.. 

I just made a Coffee and now the paranoia is on the decline, and the machine of description is going to run all night as I write myself into existence in another Blog I have been meaning to finish.. I am never so happy and fulfilled as when I am describing my thoughts.. it is so therapeutic and relaxing.. and gives me a sense of fulfilment.. I want to write something so beautiful and true, that people will love it, and in so doing, love me too...

Is that a crime?.. is it perverse or immoral... the sincerest form of affection is the love of expression.. via the pursuit of perfection therein.. that another might chance upon it, and enjoy the soul contained within the syntax of my semantics.. it is a pure love to seduce true romantics... Aw.. 

I love U4 reading me.. I am with you wherever you go, always here to rescue a lost soul from the wasteland of mediocrity.. ready to thrill please and tease.. and often offend, but that is the price you pay to be my friend...

Xxx