Monday 9 April 2012

Tiny Beauty...

Easter for some reason always has a big Impact on me.. "Unconsciously", for many a several reason, and this present one is no exception... it has repeatedly been a time of change re-birth and spiritual growth, not because I am a Religious person for sure but perhaps it has always been somehow accidently synchronised to life changing moments throughout my life, Happy ones and; some very sad indeed,


like the loss of everything on one occasion, when as a child of 15; I saw my Mother Beaten up by my Father, who broke Her nose and made it bleed all over a sheepskin hearth rug... She left Home on the Easter Monday, followed by My Grandmother (Mums Mum) a few days later... I remember How My Nana sat on the stairs and quietly sobbed while waiting for Her Taxi....


I wont catalogue them all, but...
Another Time in 1986 I was in an Emotional crisis, after losing in Love to abbreviate it's finer detail.. and that Easter Sunday I Read Johns Passion in full in a large Church, as My friend was the Vicar, and He had asked me months before to do it.. and I was "a Broken Man" that day, and I remember The torment of holding back a river of tears, as I read it, in parts I did crack and Semi sob... I thought it was a terrible performance, but several people came up to me after and took my hand and said, it was the most moving thing they had heard in a Church.. so that was a Bitter Sweet Easter....


2 Years Ago 2010, on Good Friday I had been in a state of concern about something that was eating up with worry... but that Friday I was transported to an inner Nirvana of peace and Tranquillity, that persisted for months.. the moment I woke up that day, a "knowledge" had come to me, of things yet to be and their certainty calmed my aching heart.. a sure Faith in other words; that good things were coming to me... and They did, what I saw in my mind that Day happened.. all my worries dissolved into the ether they came from.. Why? I dont know... Transcendental states of mind happen more often now...


This Easter which is still with us; at time of writing is another set of "Blessings" that came from out the blue... partly esoteric partly solid matter... First the esoteric part...


about 10 months ago early in the Morning I started hearing, scraping sounds above my head while laying in bed, a sort of burrowing persistently crunching & tapping sometimes; kinda sound.. I thought it was Either the Devil or some such malevolent entity, or a Death-watch Beetle which lives in the walls in this country, or a bird making a nest in the roof, or under the eaves.. it often "woke me up" and I got to  banging the wall with my hand, to "shut it up" as after some weeks & months of this I got tired of it...


it usually stopped after a couple of hours, and only happened in the mornings "early" well.. Yesterday which was Good Friday.. it happened in the afternoon while I was at my desk, where I spend the better part of every day.. and I looked round at the Window, (which is covered with a film of one way glass, so you can see out but nobody can see in, only a reflection of the sky is all you can see from outside) ... and I looked round and to my delight and astonishment I saw what had been causing this noise all this time...


A tiny little "finch" (I dont know what kind) was trying to get through the window and kept flying into it then going side to side and pecking at the frame... a couple of time I shoo'ed it away, by opening the window, then leaving it open other times to see if it would fly in... 


(in the Summer I leave my Balcony door open, and had no end of wildlife flying in.. I twice found a Robin; another time a Raven "big Bird close up" gripping onto my bikes handlebars on one occasion..)


all Afternoon I have been Playing with this little bird... now it just sits/stands on the frame and just looks in, or at itself?.. I started to film it and take stills, over the course of the day.. Then as it started to get dark, I was wondering how long it would sit there.. and by dusk it knew I was just behind the window, coz I had the lights on inside, and must have been clearly visible to it... as the mirror effect of the window diminishes substantially at night...


I was talking to it for an hour or more, and at late dusk, where the light gives in to the day, I said; just 2 feet on the other side of the glass...


I said... "I am going to miss you when You go off to bed.." and to my amazement the moment I reached the word "bed" it fly up to the roof where it must be living... Like it understood me..


Several layers of interpretation are open to dissemination by thought here.. and the one I chose was.. it is a sign from God.. a kindred messenger to tell me I matter... even if only to a tiny bird that woke me from my slumbers of months.. of course little birds dont live that long, so when it finally ceases to return, I will shed a tiny tear, for that little bird that had no fear...


I am looking forward to tomorrow... which I didn't do for quite a long time, this is the effect an Angel can have on those it visits... Now I understand completely the Joy the Bird-man of Alcatraz must have known.. and the worry of a parent for a vulnerable child... 






NB:
I will edit the video and include stills and add them at a later Edit:

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